GrendelKhan
Erik Sofge
GrendelKhan

Do you have enough slots for new dwellers? Apparently they won’t give birth without a place for the babies to live. Because that’s how pregnancy works, right?

Crap. I was hoping that the game wouldn’t lean so hard on nature, as opposed to nurture. Sounds like it was a mistake to ask my leather-jacketed Don Juan to do so much of the Lord’s work. His only real deficit is Strength, so I suppose I can look forward to a master race of charming, agile, intelligent weaklings.

I really like this approach. guys. More, please!

This is a pretty hilarious amount of discussion and handwringing over a 3DS game.

Great points.

Interesting. Thanks.

There’s something weirdly dishonest, to me, about ending a game with a decision tree, and then blithely continuing the narrative in the sequel, by apparently picking one of those endings at random.

Watching this event as a non-Nintendo fan is really surreal. It’s like being dropped into the winking, sugar-fueled brain of an 8-year-old, minus all the terror and protosexual panic of actual childhood.

What’s weird to me is that they set up the entire narrative as some sort of desperate play to save humanity, but then they leave in mechanics that let you kill other Division personnel for loot? Shouldn’t your overly high-tech gear rat you out as a stone-cold traitor, once you get back to base? Or, if nothing else,

That’s a good point, since it’s not like cutscenes are edited awkwardly to allow for a seamless jump right back into the action. You generally have to wait for the game the churn away for a while, anyway. And the first thing you learn, when you study editing, is how important those starting and ending beats are.

You guys need to chill the hell out. I’m making fun of the fact that tactics in the movies amounted to standing while shooting, or kneeling while shooting. Of course a shooter is going to have grenades and rocket launchers, and stormtroopers that actually hit what they’re aiming at (and whose armor appears to actually

Playable Ewoks, as a pre-order bonus, would a pretty killer April Fool’s joke.

Fair enough.

Oh hell yes! That would totally work for an A-Team game, where the equivalent of a headshot would be a burst sprayed ever-so-perfectly at the enemy’s feet.

Sure, but no one seems to understand that you can toss them. The only thrown weapons in the original trilogy are the Ewoks’ devastating bolos/rocks.

This is clearly from an alternate version of the SW universe, where grenades exist.

Yeah, with no explanation of who this guy is, and why we works there, it definitely seemed to imply that his job is “EA’s black friend.”

Hey, remember when Hoop Gawd made fun of that guy for being fat, or something?

Awesome. Who knows what it’ll play like, but between this and Cuphead, we’ve entered a brave new world of games that look like old cartoons. I’m a million times more interested in this weird development in graphics tech than more attempts at photorealism.

Well done. You definitely tricked me into watching about 5 minutes of terrible storytelling, punctuated by the rumbliest toughbro rumble voice this side of the intentionally-distorted Honest Trailers narrator, and lots of stupid sideboob shots.