“I’m out.”

“If I wasn’t Jamaican, then why would I wear this hat?”

If Trump is unpopular, why does this cat look like this? If liberalism is popular, why does this cat look like this?

Maybe, but I’m more convinced it was Obama.

If I recall correctly, Track was stationed out of Fort Wainwright, Alaska and never saw combat. He did that for two years and was discharged and did recruiting for the National Guard for 2 years. I’m not saying it was easy, but it sure beats being shot at. Also, if the rumors are true, he has forced into service or he…

As a large man, I learned long, long ago that gravity is my enemy when a branch broke and I landed, back first on a tree root in my friend’s back yard. So now I do all my climbing never.

A Power Wheels Jeep that Rex Ryan customized.

This is the equivalent of trading in a 16 year old Toyota pick-up truck for a previously returned Power Wheels Jeep from Toys R Us.

Two cheeses enter, one cheese leaves.

Tell me more about this “cheese dome” ...

Me: “Hey! When will my Samsung device get the latest Android OS?”

can’t cross...a golf course

Their feud started when Rand Paul stole his neighbor’s backup dancers. There’s been a lot of bad blood since then.

This is gold, nothing tops letting imbeciles make imbeciles of themselves in public.

I see someone hasn’t had the pleasure of a Kale-Y Salad

Never forget!

I never shower at the gym. I live 10 minutes away and am usually going right back home after my class.

Carson: I’m sorry, but I could not remove the tumor from your brain. You only have months to live.