Phrases that have no place in an Alex Ovechkin article: “this feels a bit more, uh, sober”.

When the concept of instant replay is that referees are able to correct mistakes on the field through more complete access to information about the play, it seems wrong to try to remedy replay’s flaws by limiting or eliminating some of that information.  Either a) accept the time it takes to make a call, b) urge refs…

I once went out with a girl who gave me the advice, “If you ever date a girl who once waited tables, remember that being a good tipper might not get you laid, but being a bad tipper definitely won’t.”

Portis has a legit claim. I know I, for one, would have a hard time refraining from injuring Portis on purpose if the opportunity arose.

So, a Sonics fan?

Well, shit.  It’s looking more and more like God does exist.  Thanks for screwing up my Sunday mornings, Jeffery.

So, Gabe, what bet did you lose to Laura Wagner?

Commenting on sports websites has always been an exercise in literary masturbation, anyway.

The real question is, how long could Caity Weaver hold out?

Pay the man, Shirley.

I’m reasonably certain that several members of Alabama’s defense realized sometime this week that a dominant performance tonight would have meant that they were going to get picked by Washington in the draft, and this was the quickest way to avoid it.

It worked for the cast of Glee.

I am frankly disgusted that Naughty Dog has apparently invented time travel and instead of sharing their discovery with the world, they use it to jaunt into the future and rip off movie posters.

My solution to this dilemma:

This device just got my identity stolen even more frequently.

This device just got my identity stolen even more frequently.

Jesus.  Imagine how messed up he’d be if she didn’t have such a naive and charitable worldview regarding her fellow man.

I realize we never actively root for injury, but is it wrong that I enjoyed seeing Alonso’s head hit the turf and bounce?

If we continue to allow receivers to act as quarterbacks and quarterbacks to act as receivers, we run the risk of confusing Kiko Alonso so much that he has no idea who to spear.

I have no problems whatsoever referring to the man from here on out as “Paul R. ‘Stolen Election’ LePage.” I have a hunch that if the moniker caught on widely, he’d probably regret the public linking his name quite so heavily to the concept. So let’s do this. Let’s make the words “Stolen Election” a reflex to come to…

I don’t believe you, but that’s because I never trust a man with one last name four times.