So, a Sonics fan?

Well, shit.  It’s looking more and more like God does exist.  Thanks for screwing up my Sunday mornings, Jeffery.

So, Gabe, what bet did you lose to Laura Wagner?

Commenting on sports websites has always been an exercise in literary masturbation, anyway.

The real question is, how long could Caity Weaver hold out?

Pay the man, Shirley.

I’m reasonably certain that several members of Alabama’s defense realized sometime this week that a dominant performance tonight would have meant that they were going to get picked by Washington in the draft, and this was the quickest way to avoid it.

It worked for the cast of Glee.

I am frankly disgusted that Naughty Dog has apparently invented time travel and instead of sharing their discovery with the world, they use it to jaunt into the future and rip off movie posters.

My solution to this dilemma:

This device just got my identity stolen even more frequently.

This device just got my identity stolen even more frequently.

Jesus.  Imagine how messed up he’d be if she didn’t have such a naive and charitable worldview regarding her fellow man.

For the record, the leading reason that Wizards tend to shit themselves is because they’ve never developed a second unit, and are unaccustomed to bringing significant effort to playing defense every game. This causes them to play down to the level of their opponent, which, combined with an inability to keep key…

I realize we never actively root for injury, but is it wrong that I enjoyed seeing Alonso’s head hit the turf and bounce?

If we continue to allow receivers to act as quarterbacks and quarterbacks to act as receivers, we run the risk of confusing Kiko Alonso so much that he has no idea who to spear.

I have no problems whatsoever referring to the man from here on out as “Paul R. ‘Stolen Election’ LePage.” I have a hunch that if the moniker caught on widely, he’d probably regret the public linking his name quite so heavily to the concept. So let’s do this. Let’s make the words “Stolen Election” a reflex to come to…

I don’t believe you, but that’s because I never trust a man with one last name four times.

There are more than four teams in the NFL.

Well, now I’m just hoping God’s plan to deal with Facebook involves quartering soldiers in some fashion.

“And that, children, is how Kotaku became Tumblr.”