Horse conditioner? On my hair? I vote Neigh.

Para remojar la Bamba!

Lonzo Ball has at least a 50-50 shot at bettering Curry’s production over the next two weeks.

Zoglin’s only crime was not preceding his questions to the staff with the sound of a ticking stopwatch.

Look, Nick, All I’m going to say about your plea for a grassroots campaign is: John McCain only wanted 74 more Twitter followers. Capiche?

And what do you think of this one?

Really, the only fair way to settle the controversy is to kill Gabriel Byrne and see which film is listed first in his obituary.

And it’ll be titled: 0 for 30.

Melgalvis always had a reputation for being intense, but now he’s just fucking metal.

It was always abundantly clear that Lily Collins was never going to stay blonde because she didn’t color her eyebrows.

Pretty much because it upsets you.

At the very least, you’re starving enough for internet attention that you’re racing to be the first to demonstrate outrage at others’ willingness to make molestation jokes.

“If you don’t confess to your predatory behavior and quit the industry you’re going to wind up in the hospital.”

Okay, so I can see the ping-pong ball, therefore the tree has enough water. However, it’s sitting on the bottom of the reservoir because there’s not actually any water in it. Why is this so complicated? I’m using clear water; should I be using opaque?

It really is the worst of all. The only thing that should soil Ashley Feinberg’s legacy is a litany of Ashley Feinberg’s Own Bad Decisions, which she should blog to us at length about, because I suspect they’ll be hilarious and well worth reading.

I was even more impressed with how she managed to balance for three seconds in midair on her right foot, but then I realized Comcast was just previewing their streaming speed following the net neutrality repeal vote.

Of course, that has to exasperate all the other coaches.

Thank god Peterman was able to get some live action under center earlier in the season to prepare him for this moment. That Sean McDermott, he’s playing chess while all the other coaches are playing checkers.

Yep, that’d do it. And three days’ worth of cash adds up to five figures quickly.

July 30 would have been a Sunday, so I’m guessing the safe held petty cash, Sunday’s unaudited drawers, and Saturday’s deposit. Might have even held Friday’s, as well, if the store handles its own bank runs and didn’t have the manpower to make a deposit early Saturday.