You see, I always tell my parents how they failed me by not being billionaires, but they just don’t seem to learn. Parents, amiright!?

I don't blame him. I'll be on the midnight shift, so I will get to commemorate the shutdown in real time.

Touche, sir!

This withdrawal is pretty much the result of a phone conversation with Erdogan. What was said in that conversation is unclear, but it is likely that Erdogan either threatened to release more info on Flynn, promised to be quiet about Kashoggi, or both.

Being a federal law enforcement agent, I’m toeing the line of bemused, angry, and exhausted at the idea that a furlough is ‘no big deal,’ as certain Republican Senators are claiming.

Thank you. I appreciate the sympathy.

Very well, actually. The record speaks for itself. That is why Democrats are just as dismayed by his departure. You're about the only person I've encountered with such contempt for Mattis, but that simoly comes off as being childishly vindictive, as opposed to perceptive.

Gen. Mattis is a key reason why the US military was not used in a reckless and illegal manner for the last two years. He didn’t take the position of Secretary of Defense because he supports Trump, he took it because of his loyalty and devotion the troops, and ensuring they were not misused.

So it looks like I get to work the holidays qith no paycheck, thanks to our Commander in Chief. That’s fine. Totally...fucking...fiiiiinnnneeee.

‘Spiced mayo!?’

Let him live his dream.

Hate is a hungry sensation, and when it has nothing to consume, it will eat he who bears it.

Barf Bag published too soon: Mueller’s team just released a statement slamming Flynn...for lying. Apparently, even after all of his utter transparency and cooperation, he was STILL holding out information. And Mueller knew.

Maybe the pump is on the other side of the swamp. Also, why is Trump wearing a suit in the swamp? That seems mighty uncomfortable.

...seriously, what the fuck is going on in this picture? Are they hunting? Are they swamp guerrillas? Are they Wolverines?

You’re trying to paint this guy as someone who just has a bad day every now and then, but he consistently fucks up in the exact same way...repeatedly. That’s called a pattern.

...what happened to Western leadership? From Trump to May to Macron to Merkel, what in God’s name is going on?

We elected Donald Trump President of the United States: of course astrology is making a resurgence.

Nooooo, no, no, no, that is not wise.

Do not kink shame that moose.