He brought the bones of the golden tomahawks home in a doggie bag and intends bring them to a lab

Goodbye everyone. It’s been a hell of a ride. Never made it out of the greys but that’s ok.

The school recently announced the hiring of new head coach Greg Brandory

I was gonna suck my thumb, but I got high

Felix never made a single playoff appearance with the Mariners

I’ll always appreciate him because he was the first pitcher to win the Cy Young despite not winning many games thus pissing off all the old baseball people. 

Why would people be inside a place where the Barenaked Ladies were playing? 

And beyond your joke, it’s also probable that the campus would seem deserted if people were inside those arenas and not walking around when McQueary stepped outside.

He wonders why McQueary remembers the campus as being deserted on the night he says he witnessed the assault (Feb. 9, 2001), even though there was a hockey game and a Barenaked Ladies concert on campus that night.

Orphan remains my greatest moviegoing experience. It was just a so-so thriller, but at the big reveal a tween/early-teen girl sitting down the row from us stood up and shouted ESTHER GOT TITTIES at the top of her lungs. It was incredible and probably the hardest I’ve ever laughed in public.

I honestly don’t get how old this young woman is even supposed to be! 

Is it? It’s not like he’s portraying a historical figure and it’s not like he’s actually supposed to be from England. It’s a fantasy—maybe Tyrion’s accent sounds a bit off because the maester who tutored him is from an obscure corner of the Vale or some shit.

That’s unfair. There were at least 130 people who had their dinner reservations fall through at the last minute.

The 13 fans in attendance were stoked.

the 90-yarder is the best because Williams had the safety lined up per usual 20 yards back and Odell still ran by him like the safety was Gregg and Odell was a head coaching job

they can’t be too indignant, since MSU only reached field goal range in the first place thanks to an ultra-soft pass interference penalty

If you have to imagine something happening to someone you care about to understand that thing is bad, you don’t actually understand that the thing itself is bad. 

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, one of the easiest things to do in life is not exposing oneself to others, I do it everyday with ease!

I thought class action lawsuits were for enriching plaintiff attorneys.

Yeah, if not having sex for a month and eating ramen noodles makes your mind strong, then I’m pretty sure I must be Buddha.