I had a guidance counselor who would take some of us out to eat and we'd hang out and tell her all the gossip. At the time, it felt like we were really cool and adult and whatnot. In retrospect, it's mind-blowing. I cannot imagine as a thirty-something hanging out with high school kids to amuse myself and concerning…

Geez, how old are you now?

I was so disappointed when he was kind of a jerk on Surreal Life. I feel like I could have had a weird crush on him if he hadn't been. Oh well.

He grasped the hammer. He had to readjust his grip because his palms were sweaty. He'd finally gotten a date and he was ready. The sound of his heavy steps made his heart race.

Ooh, good luck! Someday, man. You've got more courage than me!

I just would never have that line of thinking. I'd expect me it to involve me going, "Haha PWNED muthafucka! And I'll take that wine, too! A-yuh burnt!"

Oo yes. "Oh god, work. Who wants to talk about that? So, about 'I Dreamed a Dream'."

YES. One day a friend and I showed up to Chipotle before it opened. We were sitting in the car listening to music to pass the time. A good ten minutes before it opens, there's a short line and an uppity lady jiggling the door, looking exasperated. I light a cigarette, because I know now they'll be opening late.

So, so yes. The other day a woman bought 3 sets of 3 ceramic trains about five minutes after close. All the wrapping had me ringing the woman behind her about 15 minutes after close. When I told her her total? She said "hold on" and was sending a text! That's rude before close! Guh.

Oh, screw the Oreos. That's awesome. Give yourself credit!

When I watch, I'm gonna tell her!

I'm at once easily amused and a tough crowd so I know my taste is completely arbitrary. I mean, I'm watching Paranorman right now.

Right? But who takes a phone and gets on OKCupid? So weird to me.

Doesn't seem to work on my phone but I'll try on a real computer when I can. I unexpectedly loved The Mindy Project so I'm hoping for a pleasant surprise. Thanky! (I picked up thanky from my boss and I can't stop. I'm sorry.)

The GIF was a worthy sacrifice. And I was pleased that, despite many showing me the same quote, nobody was a dick about it. Or if they were, it grazed my head like a duck in Disney World. That is, I was in the smoking area and then I was yelling HOLY SHIT and then a ten year old was laughing in my face because…

I haven't given it a try, but I also won't pay to see it. Is there a legal way to watch it for free? Not for any moral reason, just that my Internet access is limited to shared computers and my phone.

It's funny, I was just commenting on another thread about how reality TV used to have a "line" and I feel the same about paparazzi. If you were a celeb and you got drunk in the 80s? They'd get your picture, say you were drunk. Now they admittedly try to provoke you to have an outburst, so they can sell a photo. They…

Well, that's the thing. I have a lot of spoiled friends who are hipsters in New York and I don't even hear about it from them. I was hoping Jez would post more about Les Mis. That is something I would erase because it doesn't add to my point, but I'm leaving it. Anyway, I read them and I'll ask people if they watch…

I would totally buy into that, but I can't think of how it would benefit them. It implies you can meet someone fast and he'll bring wine? Or just puts the name in your head?