Dishwashers use significantly less water than handwashing!

See? You're helping the cat!

A lot of millenials don't have job security and move frequently and rent. I know how to fix a severly plugged toilet, but I pay rent so my landlord should do it. Also, if a place isn't yours, it feels silly to play "house" so extravagantly or care about your used $40 Ikea couch. I also didn't get married at 22 like…

no. it's because millenials are lazy pieces of shit...unlike the baby boomers. duh.

Sometimes I worry that I missed the relationship boat here—which is COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS! Everyone I know is paired up. And people stay together here so much longer than most couples that don't end up married, so even if couple breaks up in their mid-to-late-20s, then both of them have literally never been single. …

One of those crazy manicured girls with shiny hair and shiny makeup and shiny clothes and shoes.

Sorry—sarcasm. Guys who send form messages or "Hey baby" messages don't actually read profiles, so telling them not to send them at the end of your profile isn't going to help much.

How about those of us who are really awesome and attractive, but do not do well in sexual competition. Alone I am a fucking catch. Next to shiny bitches and manic pixie dream girl hipster, I am so dull.

And they don't support their "science" so much that their completely obliterate your agency in dating.

Because the guys who write form letters and one-liners will actually read your profile. You are advertising your message to the wrong crowd.

Okay, but what about those of us atheist or pseudo-Christian liberals who want to get married, potentially to someone they met tomorrow, but aren't ready to do it in the next 2 years. Everyone on eHarmony seems too conservative and too marriage-minded. I want to meet someone, but I am not ready to settle down.

Sounds like Rick Santorum's approved dating site!

As a PhD student in the midwest, I cannot use e-Harm or Match because the men on those sites are too marriage-oriented. I am not adverse to finding the partner I will spend my life with, but I don't want to get married in the next 2 years even if I met him today nor do I want to have children in the next 5. Also,…

As a PhD student in the midwest, I cannot use e-Harm or Match because the men on those sites are too marriage-oriented. I am not adverse to finding the partner I will spend my life with, but I don't want to get married in the next 2 years even if I met him today nor do I want to have children in the next 5. Also,…

I'm a laidback guy! I like to hang out with my friends!

How about not being able to send messages with too similar content? I would love that.

In addition to Lunchcoma's suggestions,

For a lot of us, political opinions are a big deal in a potential partner. I only date liberals and outspoken ones at that. The political questions are a good gauge as to whether the person is question is politically educated, a feminist, empathetic, etc.

I've been through 0, essentially. (I did expiration date one commitmentphobe but I knew I was leaving so it was never going to be anything.) I have literally never been on more than 4 dates with anyone in 3 years. How fucking sad is that?

Good to know that I am not the only one toiling relentlessly online. Perhaps someday I will find success like you!