McDonald's is seeing the biggest stock market downturn they've seen in like...forever. Pink slime? Sawdust nuggest? Crack in the fries? (That last one is my theory.)

Gah, no, but this one is great, nonetheless. This episode begat origin of "Sweetie Darling."

I can't find a GIF for it, but there's a clip from Ab Fab where Eddie looks very faux concerned about something Saffy says. That's how I imagine Amy Adams feeling about the Today Show cancellation.

Huge historical female royalty nerd here...this was such a great piece that you obviously worked very hard on. Well done!

Of course Zahara Jolie Pitt idolizes Lupita Nyong'o. It's not like she can idolize her mother. Because Angelina Jolie is white, see.

Now is your chance to woo him if you are model in your early 20s looking for a serial monogamist/amateur climatologist with Peter Pan syndrome.

Ooooooo...there was a pyramid in National Treasure...and aren't Will and Jada part of the Illuminati? PLOT = THICKENING.

I had a theory that Jaden Smith was communicating solely through anagrams. But "I build pyramids constantly" works out to "Cuddly inability sportsman," which is...sadly...just as nonsensical.

Cheese and rice...someone who can't even utter the words "birth control" is trying to mandate my access to it. 'Mericuh.

I wrote an opinion column on this topic in college, and polled roughly 20 men. All but two said there's no way they would do it. Like so many other things that make absolutely no sense, the ability to ejaculate live sperm apparently ties strongly to your perceived manliness.

Horne noted that "it is extremely rare — if not non-existent — for a woman to have an abortion because the pregnancy posed a risk to her life.

I thought Chris O'Dowd's wife's last name was a joke RE: the Irish. Turns out, no. In my dream world, they both pronounce "potatoes" as "pah-tay-tahs."

Mangia P.I.?

So while asking millionaire musicians for a slice of their profits is more DERP than deplorable, the NFL really is morally disgusting when it comes to the profits they make off their breast cancer awareness gear.

Remember, when you execute said move, you must repeatedly shriek, "Weeeeeeeew!" while you do it.

THAT IS THE WHITEST WHITE GIRL DANCE EVER.

Source: I am a white girl. Also, it makes me somewhat sad, as she may or may not be dancing all by herself. :/

I *think* what LeAnn was trying to say is that she's a glamorous chanteuse, a la Judy Garland, and Eddie is man-candy. Which says more about the fact that she's completely delusional than her misunderstanding of sexuality, IMO.

HA...these were great. "White as a toilet," especially.

Nicole Richie = favorite lilac hair of all time. And good for her and Joel. Who knew that one half of "Paris and Nicole" would result in such a strong, self-aware adulthood?

KEE-RIST. Not to be negative, because this girl looks amazing, but if that's a "normal body," I'm pretty sure 95% of women in America would love to be that kind of "normal." She's still fantastically thin/toned. She just happens to also have curves.