Once upon a time, back when I thought marriage could be nifty, I tried to imagine who I'd invite to a wedding ceremony. I came up with 2 people. That's when I realized a wedding really wasn't for me.

Fixed it for you :)

Not only that, but if every penis is actually God's penis, what's the point of being a nun? It doesn't make sense to wed yourself solely to God if you can get freaky with Him by sexing literally any guy in the world.

Done and done. Thank's Erin!

Unrelated, anyone want to hangout tonight at the graveyard? I'm feeling... thirsty.

My best friend is a 5'3" tiny woman, and she runs all the time. Once she was alone and a dude on his bike smacked her ass. So she shoved him off his bike and yelled, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT WEARING A HELMET, ASSHOLE!!!" and then ran off.

It's proper etiquette to extend ones pinky when delivering a well-deserved crotch kick.

My husband is allergic to tree nuts (almonds, walnuts, pine nuts, etc.), but not allergic to peanuts, which are a legume. Often, he will ask a restaurant to not put tree nuts into his dish, but then he will order a dessert involving peanuts or peanut butter because he LOVES THEM.

"I side-eye why an organization would send someone to cover this if not to make a spectacle of the occasion"

There's an element of sexism to all the derision for Bronies. Not only are they fans of a kid's show, they're fans of a kid's show meant for girls. Fans of, I dunno, Adventure Time or ThunderCats don't get nearly as much scorn. Can't help but think it's because they're lowering themselves to like something feminine.

and some wear color-coded badges — available to anyone who wants one — that alert others to the wearer's social comfort level. A green badge indicates that you're happy to socialize with strangers, yellow means you only want to talk with people you already know and red tells everyone that you'd rather be left…

So because of my Harry Potter obsession, I hesitate to judge anyone else's fandom, even if I don't get it.

I will post this on every article about domestic violence from here until the end of time. If you are experiencing abuse, it is not your fault. If someone you care about is being abused, you cannot fix it for them, but you can be a support and decrease the isolation they are experiencing. From loveisrespect.org:

A few thoughts after many years on the Gawkerverse:

Agreed. They need a clear procedure for getting out of the grays. I posted for months (sometimes sporadically), I always posted relatively good quality posts (I check my spelling and try to stay on topic), and I sometimes even managed to get lots of recommends. I don't mind doing my time, but I need to know I'm…

Exactly, the threshold doesn't need to be high. It can be remarkably low, especially if it can be revoked. Really OTHER USERS in good standing should be able to "verify" someone. That's how a community works. If the sites start getting spammed, everyone would become more restrictive so that they weren't the person who…

It should never have gotten as far as it did. Once the problem was spotted months management should have dealt with it without pulling readers into it. An open letter should NEVER have been necessary. How this was handled was disrespectful to the staff and your readers.

Back to the greys, I go! What all-over fuckery.

I'm all for bringing back the greys, with one condition:

Unfortunately the best news I can deliver this week is that my bought at a grocery store on a whim shampoo and conditioner has actually turned out to be the best shampoo and conditioner I've ever used. It's a pretty slow good news week.

It's true, we papist idolaters usually get no love from the Proddies. But when little Missy's head begins rotating 360 degrees and the pea soup is projectile-vomited all over the wallpaper, who do they call? Yeah, that's right, Father Thomas Francis Xavier O'Brien Connelly with his whisky breath and Latin…