I’m confused. Who doesn’t eat basil?

For the record, I was a witness to this savagery and not a participant. A buddy and I had spent several hours at our favorite bar and the last call had been made. Tommy the Bartender proceeded to ask us if we wanted a “Mat shot”. I declined, but my friend agrees. Tommy proceeds to empty the mat (that he’s been pouring…

In college it once snowed two feet and classes were cancelled. I did what any respectable student would do and walked downtown to the bars. My friends and I stopped for fourth meal at the downtown late night taqueria where I got a burrito. I did then what I consider a real adult thing of cutting the burrito in half so…

Speaking as a pasty Irish woman, when I was around 2, I found a bottle of what I guess I thought was water in the house (in Ireland). So I drank it. As you do when you are a toddler. Then ran a ridiculous fever and ended up in hospital. What was in the bottle? The water they washed my great grandmother’s dead body in…

When I was 11 I swallowed the pop top to a soda can. I had to know what letter my future boyfriend’s name started with, so I twisted the pop top off and then tossed it into the soda can. As I was taking the last swig, I accidentally swallowed it. I really did not want to tell my parents what an idiot I was, so I went…

CT is the great character arc of this show. He went from being an immature ass on his own season of RW: Paris to an scary psychopath after his brother’s death to a grown up with a dad bod. Then there’s Johnny who has gotten worse as the seasons progress. It’s worth it to see him hang on while the new guys learn to…

The sadness is from being 40 and still watching these shows because you’ve seen every single season, and you’re not a quitter. Only now instead of relating to the shenanigans, it makes you fear for the future of your own nearly grown kids.

Well folks, I had a baby this week. 10 days before her due date, actually. Labor was extremely fast (less than 1.5 hours from start to finish) and we BARELY made it to the hospital (I seriously almost had her in the car), partly because we had to wait 20 min for my mother in law to show up from SIX BLOCKS away to…

I got one a year ago, and it was a link to a porn video accompanied by “thought you’d like this.” I asked why and he replied, “it reminds me of u.” I hadn’t heard from this guy in over 6 months and I haven’t slept with him since 2012.

 Got the news today that a friend lost his battle with cancer.  Too many lives lost.

The finest Christmas memory was several years ago, while eating a delicious dinner, my batshit crazy sister accused my sister-in-law of stealing her steak knives. She went around the table and took all of the knives back and stormed out of there.

One Christmas, when I was 23, my younger brother, who had received a bone marrow transplant six months prior to treat the MDS he had after he was treated for osteosarcoma, woke up at six am with a 104 degree fever. My mom woke me up on their way out the door to the ER with strict instructions for my sister and I not…

I don’t write for The Root.

a bottle of whiskey is usually my go-to white elephant gift lol. always a crowd pleaser!

So I guess this practice is more common than I thought! We always had dogs growing up and we are a family full of practical jokers, so I bet my older siblings passed baby me a slobbered on dog toy more than once.

My grandmother hd passed away nearly a year before this happened. We are at my dads sisters home the weekend before Christmas. Everyone was exchanging gifts when my creepy, alcoholic, emotionally unstable Uncle disappears after telling us all he had a surprise. He gets his kids to hand us all a little box. We open our…

This is easy- My first real job out of college was an account executive for a major cosmetic giant. I got promoted to a larger account and was told my boss would *challenge* me. She was a religious fanatic and a complete fuckface asshole that used her Catholic faith to belittle, demean, and insult everyone she worked…

The year I sent my grandma a thank you note and she sent it back with grammar and punctuation corrections in RED INK. 

A) fuck your mom, what a horrific way to treat your child