What? No Nick Frost or Simon Pegg?

What's that in Nevada? Mini-Poker chips?

That's where Rob Ford Imports his cocaine from.

Production is so bad these days, if you can't figure out the end of the movie in the first 30 minutes, you probably need a warning that McDonald's coffee is hot as well.

WOW! This looks really meh...

I haven't had that problem with phones. I have, however, had that problem in dating.

So, can I hack someone's shoe and break their foot?

"SHOCKING!"

That didn't last long. I got tired of clicking "Neither."

The wand chooses the wizard...

I remember being 10 and yelling at the Tv "IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!"

Why does it seem like Quantum Physics goes against Occam's Razor when there are seemingly more reasonable and less weird theories that could explain a given event? For example, quantum fluctuations causing black hole evaporation instead of massless superluminal particles being created as matter passes the event…

Sometimes you're afraid of what you will become, or how long you will be incarcerated, if you don't let the big stuff go.

Its this, ins't it?

In my case, this test would show how much rage I can build and how quickly.

Its much worse when you hit 40. Twenty years of eating whatever the fuck you want will balloon you into an uncomfortable hunk of wheezing fat before you know it. You step on the scale one day and realize that you have more than doubled your weight and you won't know how to lose it because your pallette won't accept…

Yeah, remind me. Why do we sexualize baby beverage dispensers?

Ah! Sticker peeling! That was how I resolved that particular Kobiyashi Maru....

Two words. Nail and Clippers.

She gave up her soul when she became a ginger....