My list of things less empowering to women than Donald Trump:

Lady Gaga and her sister Stormageddon the Dark Lord of All.

New cat (Lady Gaga) is having a hard time adjusting and has to wear the cats pajamas to stop her over-grooming. It is sad and also hilarious. But it makes me feel like I can’t scold her because she’s all traumatized. As a result the house rules (ie no cats on tables, be nice to your sister) are not really being…

I just inherited new cat (Lady Gaga) from a cousin who was killed over the summer in a terrible domestic violence incident. And I’m really hoping that she can be best friends with my other cat who was a humane society rescue I adopted a few years ago. I’ve been a one cat household my entire adult life so I’m a little…

I got a new cat recently. There are now two cats and one human in my apartment. I swear to god one of the cats hid the cat eye medicine yesterday. This is exactly how it begins. It’s gonna be like Planet of the Apes up in this shit now that I’m outnumbered.

I kind of wish instead of chill he had said nice. Because I’m sure he’s a super “nice guy.”

I probably just spend too much time arguing with these people on fb.

All the ones I know say they aren’t going to vote for Trump but either write in Sanders (my father) or vote for Jill Stein (my radical friends).

Maybe I just know more radicals than average. I’m waiting to see what all the Bernie or Bust people who were super adamant against HRC have to say now, my father included.

What percent of Bernie Sanders supporters will actually listen to Bernie Sanders about this? 10%? 1%? Unicorn%?

A hand full of things my mom gave me for Christmas five years ago that should probably be thrown away now and 7 different red lipsticks that I’ll occasionally wear when I’m feeling fancy.

Would he have still seen jail time if his victims had been teenage girls instead of teenage boys?

You’re just like my mother, she’s never satisfied.

Rick Scott looks like Voldemort.

The Shining.

I don’t think so. They were holding hands.

I would watch a musical version of Pecker if it included songs titled “Full of Grace” and “Pit Beef.”

I like that shoe. I would buy it. For $30. Which is the most that I will spend on sneakers.

Set It Off!

Well yeah, but, middle school is hell regardless of where you live. 12 year olds are evil. You can hardly blame the midwest for that.