Hey now.

That doctor went deeper than most Rangers starters this year

Such a shame to see Blackmon throw his career away to drugs. Why couldn't he just beat his fiancée instead?

"I instructed him to exit the vehicle. As he did, I noticed that he was rather large in stature and appeared to be athletically fit. I mean, he was huge. But still had amazing muscular definition. With broad shoulders and hands the size of ironing boards. If you were an NFL quarterback, it would be absolutely…

Too bad he isn't a current NFL player, I'm sure this type of behavior would earn him a stern "talking to" by Roger Goodell.

Nothing, if you can't think of anything intelligent to say just keep your mouth fucking closed.

His opinions on other well-known people:

But, but... does Tony Dungy see this as a distraction? Probably not.

If only the article made some mention of that…

Mondaymorningquarterback is the guy asking the woman who claims she was raped what she was wearing at the time of the incident.

Despite the court's decision not to impose criminal punishment, the conduct was incompatible with NFL policies and warranted disciplinary action... As you acknowledged during our meeting, your conduct was unquestionably inconsistent with league policies and the standard of behavior required of everyone who is part of…

allow me to be this guy...shut up.

"Hey, it's not like he stood around while his posse stabbed a guy to death, then hid evidence or anything. If he'd done that, we'd have fined him."

Compared to what they did to Jim Irsay, the NFL's punishment of Rice is pretty severe.

You guys don't understand. The suspension is so short because in a few years, beating a woman unconscious will be legal in like, every state.

Bro 1: Can you grab the buns?

I can't decide if that's the saddest or most amazing statement ever, but you're getting a star.

Where'd that guy go to law school, the Deadspin comment section?

Rob Ryan's conversion van is much more legit.

Added perk, the size of the van provides ample distance between Jay and his unvaccinated children.