If 10 year old me found out that as an adult I had the opportunity to watch four Transformers movies but declined he would have cried and punched me in the nuts.

Ask a Clean Person While Avoiding Eye Contact

They got my letter!

You said a mouthful, brother.

I can and have biked there. Other times I've taken the St. Charles streetcar and gotten off at Girod. Super easy and fun especially if you're pre-gaming. Who needs a designated driver?

This happened to me at age 12 during little league practice. The coaches had a group of us clustered in left field waiting for fly balls. The batter smacks a line drive straight to the kid standing in front of me and he puts his glove up to catch it. Then he inexplicably drops his glove and it drills right into my…

Now they can blow calls with amazing precision.

Can we just agree that Heat fans and Yankees fans are both insufferable assholes?

Good to see more high-brow content on Deadspin.

According to the experts he is a lesser Michael Jordan.

France didn't opt out of WWII. They rode the bench until garbage time.

You're not wrong.

That man called you a dildo.

Yeah that kinda deflates the point I would have made with Tony Romo, Mark Sanchez or Richard Sherman.

Let me tell you a story about a man named Lebron James...

Fact: Deadspin commenters never point out flaws in a sport other than soccer.

Boy, you could fry an egg on that take!

Didn't read the article so I'll just assume that means he wants to trade places with Devin McCourty.

Ask Kiermaier how far he could punt a football?

Hot take.