Do you have to reach a certain level of being irritating on social media before you're allowed to call yourself a "hands on" mum? People that go on like Hilary-or-whatever-her-name-is need to take their hands off the bloody keyboard. Constantly banging on about your kid doesn't make you a good parent, regardless of…

Ouch. That sounds messy. Poor wee fish.

I've told my boyfriend that we'll decide mutually on getting engaged, then he has to surprise me with quiet, non-public proposal. I just like the idea of being asked, I guess, but I also want to be a part of the decision. This fake story thing would pretty much horrify me.

That makes sense, but raises another question: why was she using something so valuable over a cesspit in that case? Of course the poor woman has now lost her husband and mother in law so I'm not having a go at her, but it's all very well for us to say "it must have been valuable"... I don't even use my phone on my…

I know! Or, given how events transpired, get there, see that the woman had already left with her perfectly okay child, take a look at the video and say "it was five minutes on a mild day and why didn't you do anything?"

The "Good Samaritan" thing enraged me. He didn't even go to the car to keep an eye on the kid, he just filmed it from afar and called the police. He wasn't trying to help, he was trying to get someone in trouble.

Jillin' it is my new favourite phrase. Thank you kind stranger.

I think she gives good advice for hilarious non-problems and terrible advice for actual issues. Basically if the problem can be solved by a thank-you note, Prudie's your woman.

I was about to comment that this happened years ago when I saw the update! That story was pretty popular in these parts for a while. Manky git.

I loved the Parks and Rec approach. "Let's just put Leslie in some bigger jackets."

I have never heard of the "covered in the blood" thing (I think the nutty Christians where I live have different flavours of crazy), is it like a protection thing or...?

I saw this when it first got attention on reddit, and I still think these people are idiots. The statement only reinforced that. I don't think Jesus would approve of dragging your kid along the ground like a bloody accessory, but that's just my opinion.

Bloody hell. In the UK you just leave school and go on your summer holidays. Who are these lunatics?! I feel bad for the kids. No creature with a bladder the size of a thimble and the attention span of Nemo should have to sit through a ceremony.

All it takes is one indeed; and we can't be sure which one it's going to be. Is it the guy at the bar who won't believe you when you say you have a boyfriend? The dude who insists on following you outside when you go for a smoke because if you "get away" for one moment they won't be able to keep trying to hit on you?…

I didn't even spot him!

The poor man was probably in shock, on top of the fact he was hugely outnumbered. We'd all like to believe we'd be heroes in these situations, but we're only human. I feel for him, because he's asking himself those questions and getting answers that will haunt him for the rest of his life.

Absolutely. I love this scene in particular.

I dunno, I think Sophia Vergara won that one.

I'm torn between chronic popper envy and total disgust and admiration of your ovaries of steel for doing that. I am confused.