I’m straight edge until I pack a bowl

I once had a roommate who cooked his hot dogs by boiling *and* frying them. He would put them in a pot of water, then let ALL the water boil off, so the hot dogs would then fry in the now-dry pot.

Ryan the Pun Maker was the bad roommate in that story.

There is a word for people like you.
Hero

Sure, it takes years off your life. But they’re the shitty years!! My great aunt lived to 92, which was about 20 years longer than it should have been. between the macular degeneration, osteoporosis and dementia, she ended up talkingto her dead relatives, complaining she couldn’t see them.

Lebron said he was activating playoff mode, but he failed to mention he was activating J.R. Smith playoff mode. 

“walks on, walks off, walks on, walks off”

I’m such a Deadspin fanboy that I hate Barstool Sports despite the fact that I’ve never visited their site.

That’s what the Matrix looked like to Liberace.

I believe he can lie.

If someone wants to drink a Coors Light, that’s cool. I drink them too when it’s appropriate to not drink a fucking 8% IPA.

I love beer but I leave my body when someone starts talking to me about the process they go through to make it.  I’m here to forget, not to learn. 

Has Drew Magary heard about this? He’s going to have an aneurysm.

No I have a six figure job to go to where I literally sit and watch unqualified white males sit in spaces that would be better filled by people of color and women but unfortunately they don’t have the ability to be average and get rewarded, now get back to Starbucks and get my coffee or is it Subway. Oh in case you…

It’s gotta be tough for him. All those young girls and he doesn’t have the money to buy them happy meals. 

fuck off you nazi piece of shit

I hate it and I stay the fuck away from it.

He looks like if George Lucas ate George RR Martin.

Go Fuck Yourself™.

You’re right. That opinion is unpopular.