Alright, guys. It's been translated for you by one of your own, so no more excuses and no more "I don't get it." Time to get with the program, or Terry C. will come pec-flex you into oblivion.

if you knew your way around the penis, you would know that part does not hurt as much as the balls

In the spirit of Too Old for This, I think two thins here:

There are reasons why white gun's rights activists can walk into a Chipotle restaurant with assault rifles and be seen as gauche nuisances while unarmed black men are killed for reaching for their wallets or cell phones, or carrying children's toys. Guns aren't for black people, either.

It wasn't Carmelo. He wouldn't even pass gas.

......OF THE POKEMON VARIETY

I'M SUCH A GENTLEPIG, BUT NONE OF THE LADIES EVER NOTICE ME IN MY CAGE OVER HERE

"i can't say i've never felt some of those emotions before. feeling like no one attracted to you and people think you're a creep sucks. and asking someone out sucks too because then they have the power because you're the one who likes them."

So wait, he now has half of what he had going in? I think my ex-wife invented that trick.

If you can blow as direct and powerful as compressed air, I envy your skillset.

Jeez dude. I'm glad my heart callouses stopped me from trying shit like this long before HD cameras and gif jockeys started scanning the crowd at every sporting event.

My favorite is when people wanted 10 years experience with C# when the language was only 8 years old (9 if you counted the beta).

Good list, but I feel like the correlation-causation thing has become a crutch for anyone who wants to deny a finding. While it's true that correlation does not necessarily imply causation, it's almost as if people have taken this to believe that correlation and causation are mutually exclusive (i.e., that study can…

I don't know, seems like a good idea to me. All my lady friends who have online dated have commented on how difficult it is and have asked for help with their profiles (not touching that one with a 10 foot pole).

I saw an Asshole Monument once. It was okay.

Wife: Jesus, do you even realize how much you spent?

I haven't even bothered imagining fusion reactors. I've been toying with the idea of super capacitors for high capacity, low weight electricity, mostly for stuff like operating communications. There are some neat developments in graphine that are worth imagining at. In another post here, someone discussed replacing…

Yeah, I'm sure it isn't something all Americans enjoy. The latest debates around gun laws make a perfect point of that. It's certainly strange to see how defensive some Americans can get about firearms though, as if losing them will put their lives at risk more than owning them will. How the hell do those of us…

I used to have a lovebird that would have been happy to help with the penguin diagram. Got the ungrateful little thing from a neighbour when she was hatched because she had splay legs and they didn't want her, so we raised her from ugly and featherless, feeding her with droppers on an hourly schedule... the whole…