"It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners."

Durant got engaged? To a woman? Last time I saw him, he was dreaming about getting stuffed by Dwyane Wade.

Of course he's still in the majors—the man's an absolute machine!

Holy shit, I am the guy in the dentist chair. I just made my normal morning check of Jalopnik and to my shock I was in the article! What a sight! Not what I expected to see this morning. lol.

Do you have any curveballs?

When playing soccer in Russia, they only use Adidas (All Day I Decapitate Any Streetperson) equipment.

The new big three in the Boston area are soon to be Aaron Hernandez's orifices.

Judge: Mr. Hernandez, I believe I have enough information to render a verdict. You have been charged with...MURDER!

'After he was shot, the man "ran just a few yards, then collapsed and died.'"

After shooting the would-be robber, the as-yet-unidentified man got back in line.

I get that saying you can buy one of those for $65 is kind of a joke when they really cost over $75 but I didn't want to be a jerk and point that out.

"Wait... she did what?"

This has jumped to second on my list of favorite pairs of Upton knockers.

Upton here

Gonna need 40 weight oil and muffler bearings....

Ugh. This country is all about who can be the most PC. For instance, Gleason is now over 70% PC.

Damned right she should be concerned! Usually after he doesn't pass, he starts shooting.