Also, while it isn't particularly helpful to stigmatize large age gaps like Heard and Depp's (my parents were 14 years apart and they ruled at marriage!), it's always important to lodge a small critique against the idea that women have an expiration date and men don't. So here you go. I critique thee. Small-ly.

dated a guy who had met him and said he was pretty cool. I guess that should have been a deal breaker

yeah like to see him do this to me

I am not sure you can put the blame on him for not marrying his long-time love. Given that Vanessa Paradis is French and they lived in France, where long-term co-habitation is more common, it could have been a mutual choice.

I have been a Jezebel lurker for years (since the very beginning), and I have seen its decline. One thing that pisses me off is that no one writing for Jez EVER acknowledges when commenters are right. The whole Lena Dunham thing? We ALL thought that was fucking ridiculous. The rape photos incident? That was…

Thank you. I was gonna say, "Actually, they do not make me feel 'fucking lazy' because the reason I'm not running a marathon isn't that I'm 'fucking lazy' but that I'm in a 'fucking wheelchair.'"

THANK YOU.

Shit like this is why I bought a door handle with a lock and installed on my bedroom door when I was twelve. I bought it with my birthday money.

Clearly someone else who was Team Weed, not Team Caffeine. This war is going to divide us all!

I mean, I need to play in an orchestra to nourish my soul. I can think of a half dozen other things that would help with nourishment and that no one else is going to hand me.

"Parents need to look out for their kids before anyone else's"

Exactly. Oprah is exploiting Lindsay Lohan for OWN ratings and I find that amoral. She is clearly not ready but if you promise to pay for a new apartment, then of course she will lie through her teeth just to be on the show.

I totally get the overwhelmed, frustrated, my-career-is-going-nowhere feeling. Welcome to the late-twenties, Lindsay. Making the phonecalls, doing the legwork, and FORCING OTHER PEOPLE TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR CAREER through sheer force of will?

This is how the normals roll. Welcome.

I know, right? Like, if I got plastic surgery to look like Hillary Clinton, does that really matter? I'm still getting plastic surgery to look like a person I am not.

"I am a strong woman...I am in charge of how I look and I can change that and then change that again if I want," she said. "I'm not trying to look like Pamela Anderson here during her 'Baywatch' days. I'm trying to look like a very capable, very personal level-headed female who is an Academy Award winner."

Aw, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's so rough. :( I wish you all the Ben and Jerry's your heart desires!

My 3 year old chihuahua was killed today. Two dogs that live at the local oil shop attacked him while my boyfriend and I were walking him and my other dog. I know there was nothing we could of done but I just feel awful. He was our first dog and (secretly) out favorite. The sweetest dog in the world who wanted to be…

"Fast Car" was the soundtrack to one of the best summers of my life.

I love Handler. So what, wanna fight about it?

Her show always makes me laugh. There have been shows where I hurt from laughing. I hope she isn't away for long. Hope she brings all the regulars from her current show.

My parenting choice was to -not- be one when I was 22. Having an abortion was probably one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. My husband and I made the choice together, and while he regrets it, I don't in the slightest. I'm happier, healthier, am almost done with school, and have a bright future ahead…