"However, I do want to have shiny skin and be vaguely pissed off at something in the distance."

Stunning! She's having such a moment right now, and I love it. I know not everyone likes her show (I do, with a few caveats), but she's an unabashedly smart, funny, talented WOC who's killing it all over the place and (seemingly) enjoying the hell out of it.

Oh my gods how is champagne winning? Do people really not appreciate vodka's versatility?

I'm Aussie & this made me smile. The ladies look surprised, but most seem to smile/get that it's not what they're expecting - for better or for worse.

I'm gonna take you guys back.. How about these?

Also in contention for worst idea for kids, ever: behold, FunDip, a chalky sugar stick that you dip into more sugar and lick off.

What a fucking dumbass. As a pregnant lady, I reserve my goddamn right to a glass of wine as I please. I'm a fucking doctor - I know the risks full well. You apparently don't since you think a single drink causes FAS. You and your uniformed ass can sit the fuck down.

I can't stop laughing at the ending. "Actually, Nancy...we just have to get to the weather." Yes, we have a show to run here, we can't just sit around all day yelling about porn.

I hate to tell you this, but when you get older, and after you have popped out a couple kids, when you vomit, you pee. A lot. That makes it harder to recover with ANY dignity.

Hey, are you in Paris ? If so, you should try the japanese/french fusion pastries from Sadaharu Aoki on Boulevard de Port Royal, he makes fucking matcha tea croissants ! There's a great chocolaterie on this boulevard too. And speaking about chocolate, there two other great places you can go to - one is near the metro…

I'm dyyying! I can't I just can't!....That's what happened right?

Plan B: Fall asleep in it.

Your boyfriend is nice; mine doesn't even run in when I yelp in obvious pain :*( then I get mad at him >:(( ... which does make me forget the pain a bit

You think Deadspin is confused? There's an increasingly ugly thread on Jalopnik about whether a conscious uncoupling can even be performed in a stick-shift vehicle made after 1968 that hasn't been retro-fitted.

My husband gets so mad at me when I gasp out loud at celebrity news. He always thinks someone has died, and then I'm like, "Hillary Duff is getting a divorce!"

There's a table full of Deadspin guys who were really, really confused.

This acerola cherry and jerusalem artichoke smoothie is going down with a heavy heart.

HOW is the slogan for this food not "Eat a Box of Dicks!"??? They really missed an opportunity.

A facebook friend posted a status about how much fun she was having cake-sampling. Without fail, the first comment was "I hope you're spitting those samples back out, missy! Your wedding is only five months away!"

Ooh, this whole phenomenon is infuriating. When I was planning my wedding I was also training for a half marathon. One week after my half marathon, and one week before my wedding, a someone brought in cookies, and someone else shamed me for eating one. "You can't eat cookies! You're getting married next week!"