I think it'd be easy to criticize the school but, in fairness, I think we all remember that bit in the bible when Jesus, dying on the cross, says "One last thing before I go, remember to be complete and total dicks to innocent little kids whenever you have the chance. Peace out, losers."

Listen, Friend o' Llama, I don't care who you are, where you're from, or what you did, as long as you know that I'll be doing the same thing tonight.

I would not go to this concert because I am poor and have no friends, butttt the idea makes me so very happy. The backstreet boys were my life :)

I have waitressed. Yes, I forewent the tongs and usually handled your lemon wedge with my bare hands. Deal with it.

DON'T CLICK THE VIDEO! FOR THE LOVE OF DOG IT'S STUCK IN MY HEAD! DAMN YOU LINDY!

I have talked to my folks pretty much every day for the last 10 years, and had seen them almost as frequently (Dad died a couple of years ago). It's mostly a chore. My parents are nice people, but my dad never developed much emotional capacity and wasn't much of a talker, and my mom, bless her, just isn't very bright.…

That's a real thing, they've done studies on it. If you ask native Spanish speakers to describe aspects of forks (fork is the masculine tenedor), they're more likely to use masculine adjectives like "strong", "piercing", or "dangerous". French speakers, from whom fork is feminine, use words like "delicate", "precise",…

When I was in high school, I refused to actually learn Spanish well enough to pass the class, because of how mad masculine and feminine endings made me. I felt like if I actually learned how to say that tables were masculine, I'd somehow be giving into The Patriarchy.

Uhh...WHY is margarita winning over gin?!?!?!? Gin can be mixed into dozens, DOZENS I SAY, of other drinks (hot OR cold) to make them delicious and boozy. With margarita, you're stuck with tequila plus sick-sugary-sweetness. WHERE"S MY GIN?!

The only gender I had a problem with was das Mädchen. Why is the word for girl not feminine!? It makes no damn sense.

I'm 31 years old, which is exactly how long Quaaludes have been off the market in the U.S. I doubt I will ever try one.

Anyone who voted for mushrooms has never tried quaaludes. Best night ever!

I'm surprised by how difficult the choice between margaritas and gin was for me. Margaritas and G&Ts are my two favorite hard alcoholic drinks.

Yes, but they're common enough in salads that if you are deathly allergic, you'd think to mention it.

blowie? what was he, five?

Pacey 4 Lyfe!

I've never heard either and I wish I hadn't! I guess I live around not-that-crappy people.

Are there any bank tellers in the house? Please let there be a bank teller in the house. I need encouragement more than anything so please indulge me. I just started a new job as a bank teller. This past tuesday and wednesday were just long and boring days of orientation. Honestly, I wanted to quit then because I was…

Got dumped, bought an xbox, probably gonna chop off all my hair, and am now gonna go kill things in an imaginary space. MURDER ALL THE THINGS UNTIL MY FEELINGS GO AWAY.

I suspect what they intended to say was "hack up a loogie".