Nah... I'm just a dog. I only know words like good, ball and... rape.

This is my life goal.

Not a lot of Aqua Teen Hunger Force fans here?!

I thought a Rachel was a haircut.

i will now see my way out

A waffle taco is a puffy vulva/vaginal lips associated with fat women.

I have a friend from grad school who, right after graduating, married a dude who heavily pursued her, and now she's this kept woman/hausfrau living in Modesto, California. Her social media presence is SO depressing to me, but I don't want to dump her because I think she's lonely and she'd notice. Her Instagrams are…

You should set up a gofundme or whatever. It's worked around here before, and you might get to be on the tee-vee.

*cough* A Rachel is turkey.

But he did earn it, he earned by being funny and friendly and making a good thing out of a simple oversight.

Husband designed them. Mimics the art on the back on our first stove in our first kitchen that we shared together. We love to cook, eat and entertain.

We got matching Aladdin Sane tattoos on our one year anniversary because of our mutual love for David Bowie.

Wow. Wow.

Great piece, and only one small quibble. Rovell is not "harmless". His worldview is profoundly nihilistic and destructive, which itself isn't a problem, but becomes one when he incessantly peddles it to his x00,000 followers (he blocked me long ago, so I can't look up his stats). He's a sociopath with a large platform.

Or, and this is crazy I know, the cheese girl HEARD the customer wrong or MISUNDERSTOOD the question. There is nothing worse than pretentious, marginally informed specialty store clerks. I remember my search for no added sulfite wine at a wine merchant in a reasonably sized city. This was pre-smartphone and I had to…

Casein free cheese is actually a thing. It's not real cheese, but it's real. Jesus.

In Sharon's story, she probably meant (or said) "casein", not "calcium"

Oh yeah, Sartre! Sorry everyone, we're shutting this blog down because Sartre already happened. It was fun while it lasted.

I was prepared to say that none of these drawings encapsulate my disheveled boringness, but then I saw Haggard Art Lady. I am her, she is me.