These are great. My mother was a sheltered Jehova's Witness who married the first man she dated, and this was my favorite voicemail she ever left me (in her incredibly high-pitched, hysterical Boston accent).

Exactly - it's both trashy and confusing!

This article should also cover the total non-consent, heinous form of tattooing that occurs in shelters all the time! Oh sureeee, they say it's for the dog's own good, to show that they have already been spayed or neutered...but you tell my dog why she has a crossed-out female symbol on her poor pink belly! Try…

I think you are spot on in suggesting that the data on what constitutes "eligible" is skewed - check out the criteria:

The Catholic Church's new slogan: Choosy moms choose damnation.

You are not crazy, you are living in a crazy situation and responding as well as you possibly can...you'll be moving out soon though??

Wow, three weeks and you're already down some dress sizes?! IMPRESSIVE!!!

I am sorry that this is a thing that exists to happen to people, especially you. :(

I just started WW too about a month ago, and after an initial good first week I have stalled. Are you using your extra points? I guess a LOT of people don't, so I'm going to try that (and only possibly use activity points I gain over a day). I'm also trying to drink two cups of tea a day and up my protein/fiber intake…

They should have included all of the flavors then - charm, bottom, and top are just as good!

Oh my god I can't believe how quickly I remembered that...even before I understood the numbers and thought it over. Jesus. The brain is a terrifying thing.

I waded through a lot of porn to find my favorite one...I do not remember that being as big an issue 10 years ago. I'm getting old. :/

Exactly, the idea that little girl's natural behaviors (pouting, in this case) are sexy is so ubiquitous we rarely question it anymore.

"Oh dear," said FreudianNipSlip, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.

Woah, so my area of the country is only good enough to live in for a "goddamn month"? I can't believe your EastCo snarking. It's so, like, not cool.

Well, we did some lab work to validate but without getting some data from the ongoing field-work I really don't think we can say for sure...

He is just TOO ADORABLE!!! I keep begging my boyfriend to let me get a Pomeranian so Lilah wil be filled with its joy but alas, he will not consent to a second pup. The minute he does, I am getting one, naming it Jean Claude, and teaching it to ride upon a saddled-Lilah.

Her name is Lilah - it means "languishing, lovelorn, seductive; night beauty." We never had a chance.

It's videos like this that make it hard for people to spay/nueter their animals...this might need to be offset with some Sarah McLauchlan-level shelter sadness to balance it out for me.

You started it so of course I have to post a picture of my consistently-depressed pitbull, who sighs about 4,000 times per second. Unbelievable.