Dude it’s not his job to have stuff thrown at him.

damn, burnt my ass

They say you should save three month's wages for an engagement ring, which explains why his was invisible.

I hate you.

At least they got to see him experience his first-class.

Clearly the Jets wanted to see how well he fit in with the organization.

David Ortiz claims he's been drug tested "more than 80" times since 2004. Hardball Talk notes that this means one of two things: Either Ortiz is lying about how often he's been tested, or that Ortiz is tested so frequently because he has tested positive before.

I too always root for the dog in the Aesop fable with the bone in his mouth that barks at himself reflected in the water (thereby losing both bones) and will naively reprint press releases from that dog's agent attempting to justify that decision.

Even if you try and knock that kid, he's probably not going to listen.

It's all cute and adorable until you sign the papers and find out that she actually comes with the house.

Hey Captain! Open up! We've got to install these microwave ovens!

When asked where he was planning to play next, Lane said "Depends."

While no pro football teams have expressed any interest in him, several MLB scouts are exploring his potential as a reliever.

On the other hand, Trent Richardson shitting his pants every week didn't help his career one bit.

And yet, if Jose Bautista went over the wall, everyone would just complain about him stealing American jobs.