Poor Donster merely wanted to catch a slight buzz, but instead got lit up.

This is the result of completely misunderstanding her sponsor.

I don't think you all just start applauding and saying, "Oh my God, the savior is here and our paper is safe"

Fewer serious comments. We're mostly fucking idiots. Please don't let us expose ourselves.

In defense of the Qatari government, they didn't expect the workers to still be alive.

These women are world class athletes. It's simply not fair to expect the little guy to keep up.

Oddly enough, McGwire has the exact same career fWAR as HOF outsider/internet darling Tim Raines.

Authorities have released a sketch of what they believe the perpetrators would look like when dressed:

A lot of people accuse ballplayers of being dumb. You have to wonder, then, how they were able to craft the perfect metaphor for Francoeur's career.

I really do enjoy reading such laudatory articles when the internet can be so cynical, but sooner or later you have to expect a regression to the mean.

MLB BABIP by year:

Ackley may seem overly stoic, but as you can see from his jump, he prefers to stay grounded.

I'm always amazed how low he can go and still somehow avoid cuffs.

Smart move on Sasson's part to change the subject to due process. Braun's legal team obviously has an expertise in pee process.

I'd be freaked out if I was him too. Hackneyed sportswriters have proven time and again that the man is a lightning rod.

Communist Manager Takes Out American Hero With Cuban Missile

Unverified reports claim that Vazquez was 'puffin on the Optimo' and 'pushin big body' prior to the altercation. His video clearly supports the insinuation that he is, indeed, a bawler.

Even with no legs Pistorius was formidable on the track, but he's obviously not so daunting in a fight with no arms.

$23.42 to read 32,000 words may not seem like much, but it's actually the same amount that was paid to the writer, who is a Buccaneers cheerleader.