She could have, and nearly did, cause her own child to die. Over a spider. But, yeah, go easy on her.

“Truth is, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gained 15 pounds and my body has changed.”

(It’s free)

He’s confusing Planned Parenthood, which is pretty comprehensive in going over every option (adoption, abortion, prenatal care, etc.), with the Crisis Pregnancy Centers he’d rather fund. You know, those ones that actually do lie to women and hide options.

Honestly. Here, all along, I’ve been popping out babies for my career as a welfare queen . Had I known I could have been aborting them rather than going through with the whole 40-week pregnancy, I’d have been turning a profit that much more quickly! Man, it’s the American Dream for real!

Man, I’m in the wrong industry! I could’ve just laid back and watched the checks roll in if I had set up my fetus mill. BTW, would it be inappropriate to call my uterus a fetus mill?

And more than 25% body fat is fat.

“I know my face says otherwise, but I do in fact prefer not to be punched. No it’s OK everybody does it.”

Ok, yell at me for violating Pinkham’s law all you want, but Bourbon and Scotch are types of whiskeys. What he did would be the equivalent of going into a pet store, asking for a mammal, and ridiculing someone for bringing out a dog or a cat. Sorry, but that guy is a moron.

It’s not the servers fault that the chef put that sauce on there. And I’m guessing when you say you tried to hide your irritation that you definitely failed, which is probably when the server stopped working for a tip he knew would never materialize. Have you ever worked in a restaurant?

Yeah, it’s good. Dammit. I really didn’t want it to be, the whole seem things like just such a silly waste of time but...well, here we are.

No joke, I live in the midwest and I have a friend who mixes mayo into his ketchup to cut the spiciness.

So my Costco ID won't work anymore? Wtf is this world coming to

I doubt the guy would have told his girlfriend whether the waitress got just the tip, but maybe that’s why they stopped dating.

I was going to say April Ludgate, but not even that comes close.

My first job was at a restaurant where all the employees were kids from my high school. I was the dishwasher. We still employed the three sink system, meaning I was adequately shackled with the proper “Work is Hard and It Sucks, But Goldurnit it Was Much Harder In MY DAY” attitude that has helped me successfully and…

Richard Dawkins just called a 14-year-old boy a fraud and said he wanted to be arrested. Calling that a bit over the top is like calling tuberculosis a chest cold.

I’m a Christian but I still respected his work in his field as well as some of what he had to say about fundamentalism for a while but once he started getting into the whole “I’m a cultural Christian, Trinity College produced more Nobel laureates than the entire Middle East, blar-har” bit I realized he’s…

Congratulations, Richard Dawkins, you and Sarah Palin now have even more in common. Not only are you both fear-mongering anti-Islamic bigoted schmucks, you’re now clearly both haters of all the is good and heartwarming in this country.

I wish there was an option to give more than one star for a comment. Dawkins is a reactionary piece of shit parading as overly enlightened.