Jury duty last summer (in the USA). One juror was telling us all about his recent trip to Italy. Another juror asked if it was winter there.

Every night that my husband conks out on the couch while watching tv, I get so excited because I know the bed is mine, alllllllll mine. I used to wake him up, but then I realized I was a fool.

I would loooove sleeping in separate beds ~ hell, separate rooms! ~ but I think my husband would take it the wrong way. ;)

I just decided I don’t believe in years! My birthday is coming up and I’m torn between being 18 again or, like, a hundred.

I volunteer at a science museum on my days off. I spend most of my time either in the space or paleontology halls, teaching guests about the exhibits. We call this “getting bibled”. The last time it happened, I was describing the evolution of birds, and an indignant guest said, “How do you know? You weren’t there.”

I posted this on some other gawker site once, but my friend owns a smaller boutique-type hotel on Miami Beach. He was once berated by a family checking out who told him that they would never recommend his hotel and planned to post bad reviews... because it had rained every day of their vacation. In Miami. In August.…

I was at a science museum with my nephew who asked what evolution was when we passed by that section and I loudly stated "Oh we won't be going in there because we don't believe in that." I got several knowing chuckles from people around me and walked away feeling hilarious. So when I was retelling this story to the…

Those are the same kind that think the solution to a language barrier is to just say something louder.

As an undergrad geology student, I had a prof who told us a story about visiting part of the Canadian Shield. They’re out looking at some rocks, and a tourist thinks out loud, “I wonder how old these rocks are!” My prof is like, “3 billion years old”. The tourist has this look of wonder on his face and says “Wow, how…

OMG! I had a friend who worked for the park service. She said she was talking about how glaciers were formed millions of years ago and some dude got all “well, if you BELIEVE in millions of years”! Like the entire concept of “a million years” was 100% foreign to this dummy’s brain. We had a good chuckle over that one.…

When I was in college I spent a semester in Europe. My mother was telling our neighbors about my trip, and told them that I had visited Germany and went to the concentration camp in Dachau. The neighbor lady (a grown-ass woman) asked: “They do tours there? Don’t the prisoners care that people are coming just to look…

When I lived in Florida I remember reading a story about a woman who visited a Seminole reservation with her kids and then had the gall to complain that the people living there weren’t in traditional costume. She couldn’t believe they weren’t all riding horses and wearing feathers and hunting buffalo, you know, like…

Well, let’s just wait and see if they meet my demands.

My body is ready for this new direction.

I fully support Jezebel’s new direction of being a bear-centric website.

I had an internship at a zoo in undergrad, and there was a note left about me one time. I explained that horseshoe crabs were an ancient species and you could see their relatives, the trilobites, in fossils from the Cambrian period. The dad got all huffy and asked how I knew it was “millions of years”, and I responded…

If this kitty had blue eyes it would be a PURRfect creature resemblance!

DOES THIS MEAN THERES A FERRARI IN A TRASH CAN SOMEWHERE????? UM, BRB, GOING TO CALABASAS

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green “rarely shared a bed.”