I have part time hours on the weekend at a climbing gym. One guy asked me, after I gave him an orientation and tips on finishing problems, what my “real job” was.

I offer up my doggie, Sam Aloysius Doodle to comfort. I know I’m getting a doodle hug from him as soon as I get home.

God my absolute favorite moment in the service industry, thus far, was quoting some lady 45 minutes for a table and her telling her husband, “There’s no way it’ll be 45 minutes. [implying they will be seated quicker] She doesn’t know what’s going on.”

If I’m bad at my job for a day my pay doesn’t change. When I was on hourly, my pay didn’t chnge.

This woman is an American goddamn hero. It doesn’t even matter that she’s Chinese. That combination of stubbornness, desire to spite the security officials, and getting your drank on just made an eagle cry. It’s beautiful.

?

transphobic: it particularly relies on the joke being that it’s a man dressed as a woman WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE A MAN DRESSED AS A WOMAN LOLLLLL

“la condition humane” HA. Fuck riiiiiiiight offffffff

Dearest of restaurant patrons, assuming you’ve been told the restaurant is slammed, there’s going to be delays in the kitchen, and your server is being otherwise attentive with drinks and the little they can to keep your entitled ass happy during the wait, here’s what you do in this situation in the future:

1. Get your…

Especially with the ones who think stiffing you is a wonderfully creative form of personal entertainment. I mean, what better way to make the monkey dance than to stiff them and envision their impotent rage? I hate those people. I’ve never worked as a server and I hate those people.

Pay restaurant workers a living wage and I will happily agree with abolishing the tipping system. It’s institutionalized begging.

Go to work for that place that throws bread, and you can throw stuff back at them.

Another reason I hate tipping systems - because it makes customers feel entitled to the server being their personal performing monkey. They tip you, you sing and dance and do whatever they want for them. Fuck. All. That. Shit.

Ha! If that were true then we would tip at the beginning of the meal, and not like those assholes who put a pile of twenty ones on the table and take one away for each perceived inadequacy.

People were commenting on break.com’s version of the article with the phrase “TIPS: To insure prompt service”. Butchering of the English language aside, what the hell? Like servers and waiters have control over how long it takes the kitchen to make things.

I had an experience very similar to this back when I was waiting tables. I apologized profusely to the table for the delay and we comped quite a bit of their check, but they still left me zero on over a hundred dollar bill. And complained I wasn’t happy and enthusiastic about serving them. My mother had recently been…

this is how you know these assholes have never worked in a restaurant. Note to Assholes: YOUR WAITER IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW QUICKLY YOUR FOOD GETS TO YOU! IT’S THE KITCHEN!

I do like that anyone who objects to infidelity was preemptively called a “hater,” though. Stay classy, Tracy.