This is fake. These are way too coherent to be legit Steiner quotes.

What? The varsity team for which you starred at quarterback lost a nail-biter against a T.C. Williams team led by Joe Montana, one comprised of impeccably trained gorillas and coached by a super-computer created by an advanced race of aliens, you say?

TRUE "TITANS" FACT: There exist many, many mountains that would have kept an unaided Marvin Gaye— or any of the others singing his song in the film— from returning to their estranged beloved.

What?! A Disney sports movie fudging the facts?! Next, you're gonna tell me that the 1988 Jamaican bobsled team was NOT anchored by guys named Sanka Coffie and Yul Brenner.

It's quite lovely to know climate change won't end hockey.

The leaders of Italian society have shown strong support for Calcio Fiorentino, but, as expected, the Cardinal fans are the worst.

I actually happened to be in Florence two years ago during one of these matches, and it was one of the craziest things I've ever seen. We tried to scalp tickets, but the prices were outrageous, so we watched it at one of the many pubs broadcasting the match. It seemed to me that scoring points was a secondary…

Make fun of 'em all you want, but at least Florida didn't let a Japanese game show host write its DUI laws.

And here I thought this issue would go on and on until Steve Ballmer's sister, Em, had to get involved.

What kind of blocks? We're not exactly sure.

Dwight Howard is on a plush leather sofa in his mansion watching Sponge Bob Square Pants with some kids from the neighborhood. He's still in his pajamas despite it being the middle of the afternoon. Also, he just farted, which he thought was hilarious. Dwight sees this dunk video on his iPad, adorned with Pokemon and Y…

I want my fucking recipes with some god dammed step-by-step instructions and less big idiotic run on sentences about the duality of life and rump roasts for fuck sake.

This just in: Metta World Peace is still a giant piece of shit.

He has a future in journalism.

"... the lousy tramp."

"I bet she's an icky Republican!"

The word "stable" doesn't belong anywhere near the people in this story.

"We hope that the Ukraine will soon come to its senses and stop provoking Russia unnecessarily."

Every time I read your name I imagine thats's how John Travolta would pronounce Dylan McDermott's name.

Streaming video has gone too far.

go fuck yourself.