HOLY CRAP MY GRAD PROGRAM MADE MUST READ ON JALOPNIK. TODAY IS A VERY GOOD DAY.

Not as well-known a name, but Detroit Speed, a shop famous for this:

I want this!

the embarrassing thing about owning a fortwo in the US is that it makes zero sense. Actually using its greatest advantage—being able to double park—is illegal, and beyond that, there are a myriad of other cars that offer more space and more efficiency at the price point. Purchasing a ForTwo here makes you look like…

I understand the severity of this and in no way condone it....but honestly having a cop feel up my junk on the side of the road would be one of the best experiences I've ever had in Texas.

I tip my hat to this guy furiously. A career at Hendrick is no freakin' joke. I know several guys personally that couldn't cut it in nascar shops.

exactly! that, plus more alcohol.

Everyone else is thinking it, I'm just saying it:

I always wondered what would happen if an aston and a Y34 infiniti M45 fell desperately in love and had two children.

lol, I actually feel like I haven't done anything with my life either. Apparently it pisses people off wen I say that at parties, hah

Heh, workin' on it actually. Gotta get some more life under my belt first. Haven't figured out the ending yet.

God's honest truth, I promise.

Seriously, Hardigree, If you read this, call me. I'd love to start contributing.

Of course! You've seen it:

You didn't see the stripper, haha.

Little of both, haha. It's all true, just had an hour to burn at work and decided, why not?

A few years ago, I was driving my 78 firebird down to Hilton Head to spend the weekend with a bunch of friends. The friend hosting the party was the kind of guy that you just knew was always good for a good time—he had that sort of sparkle in his eye that made it clear there was always something up his sleeve, so I…

I find this review to be consistent with my opinions of the entire mini line. Ergonomic nightmare, skittish, and the value just isn't there for the price. It reminds me of the immature women I've dated — all fun and bubbly on the surface, but strangely illogical on the inside and unimpressive when the going gets…

I've worked for the gov before, so that'd be nothing new to me HEYOOOOOOOOO waka waka waka *rimshot* *rimshot* *rimshot*

ALL HAIL FRIEND TIM!