The Devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a ski-lift to steal.

Chriss cross because he can’t jump jump.

May we all one day face our own blatant fuck-ups with such self-assurance.

An NFL team took your advice?

Do not try this on the Coronado Bridge with a burrito.

Always remain cautious before you spooge on a marquee player.

Black people created every form of American music.

Cousins seems like the perfect Quarterback for Minnesota’s raise your hopes then crush your soul offense.

Imagine all the cars in the game are that guy that cut you off and then flipped you off last week. You’ll be fine.

Yeah, all my bosses got given a non-standard pay grade rise, then a haircut and then a full payback less than a year later. The net result was they all ended up getting paid more in return for everyone else taking less.

The only acceptable outcome is that the 8 uninjured players beat the snot out of this guy while the coaches make sure nobody leaves the bench areas.

Also beware of local inconsistencies. Queensland doesn’t have DST while New South Wales does. If you aren’t careful you can end up looking stupid in Australia like, uh, my friend did.

Hopefully, when the lights go out, he will be eaten by a Grue.

“Kirk Cousins is good for 4,000 yards and two horrible losses to the New York Giants”

During job interviews I like to read out a list of ethnic slurs and get them to choose their favorite.

This is the value of signing up for an ESPN Insider Trading account.

Phil has looked a lot healthier since he wienered himself off hot dogs.

As a follow up, all things considered, are you happier writing an “oops I was wrong” after a great fight rather than a “see I was right” after a terrible one?

A very enjoyable fight that was a real fight. I thought your original article made a lot of sense and was the only ‘sensible’ option. I am very glad that Wilder’s team made what could have been a poor business decision that instead worked out very well for them and probably for boxing as a whole.

After having both legs sawn off his is now a tri-athlete.