All hail the Sex Canon.

Does anybody know if Paul Shirley is going to write an opinion piece telling the people of Christchurch to stop making babies and relocate their city?

The only thing worse than having a splinter is breaking a fingernail.

Extra weight means extra strong leg muscles.

Like Muresan's height, Snooki's orange skin is due to a pituitary disorder.

That's what happens when you tell a frenchman to bring the pain.

If you get too close to her you'll end up with a cheese head.

When this happened to A-Rod he tried to slap his balls out of her hand.

Similarly my girlfriend will take one of my Viagras instead of the morning after pill.

@Lionel Osbourne: You're a roof and you're missing a panel, you've got to hold it together, you can't be the next Metrodome

@RMJ=H: He wouldn't be the first person to try to blow a police officer's 'breathalyzer'.

Does Ugueth Urbina still count as in sports? He tried to set people on fire.

I'm just going to assume the first question asked was Is the sex better if the girl wants it or doesn't want it?

Garnett wanted the world to know he was going to try to give up smoking.

@Demon Deacon Blues:

"The picture was of my friends and I making a fishy face," Gordon explained. "We didn’t think we were doing anything wrong."

Better than Ronaldo's trick of scoring with three trannies from behind.

This makes me sick, that and too many pancakes.

I am looking forward to his first game against Hull Kingston Rovers.