Confession:

Maybe the older brother stole it and that’s why no one likes him.

23 body sculpting tips that will have your dad drooling.

And they didn’t even throw it in her face that she lied about all Trump employees having paid maternity leave. Most Trump employees don’t, they have unpaid leave. I imagine Ivanka got paid leave, so she assumed everyone did.

Cosmo was in a perfect position to do this. Everyone, including Ivanka, thinks they’re a dumb ladymag full of nothing but penis touching tips and other questionable advice, but their political reporting is actually pretty damn good.

Yeah, Bethenny (“I tell it like it is” “If you can’t handle the trust, you can’t handle me”) sure can dish it out, but when someone zeros in on her for her conduct...she had to get up and stomp away...

I think Ramonja for the season win! Bethenny was trying very hard to get Sonja cut from the show, and all of the ladies were letting her do it. Through the sheer force of Bethenny’s cruel treatment of Sonja (I will never feel sadder than I felt watching Sonja waiting for the elevator after being berated by B in front…

Yes Ivanka, Cosmo readers do and should care about issues impacting women and children (and families of all kinds) which is why they fucking asked you those questions.

And then somehow summon all your friends so you never have to leave the bed.

I’ve been waiting for this. Here’s my breakdown:

I dunno how to feel about the combination of this post and this username.

I remember being scandalized as an innocent 5th grader because a dude in my tiny town got arrested for fucking chickens on the beach. Not sure why he brought them to the beach (romantic?) Anyway, it was awful because the chickens would always die from the trauma and it was quite eye-opening for my 10-year old self.

But da puppi wonts smoochies!!

Y’all I don’t understand the urban hipster farmer’s fascination with chickens. Take it from a country girl whose mom had some: they are NASTY AS FUCK. We had 3 when I was younger and of course when my parents would go on a trip I’d have to take care of them. When a coyote finally got them in the middle of the night I…

Sounds like I can keep on fucking ‘em, though, so that’s good news.

God can you imagine being a prostitute and getting a homeless guy for a client? I mean, everyone deserves to get off, but ugh the stench. That would be really challenging.

Have you seen the stories about her apparently being very into WOrld war 2 radios and getting parts and such to rebuild them? I kinda love the idea of Paris Hilton seeking out old radios to build lol

Okay, I know it can sound silly from Halle Berry or Charlize Theron to say they are too pretty to be taken seriously and it’s fun to mock them, BUT:

I’m a big fan of Paris but she’s still not as bangable as my daughter.