The absolute, only rule of wedding planning should be: provide lots of free food and alcohol.

Asked to comment, the state of Utah said “You don’t want us using religion and telling you you’ll burn in hell for sex. You don’t want us using medicine and telling you you’re certified for sex. It’s almost like you don’t want us involved in your sex life at all!”

If you go for just dessert fondue it’s awesome!

You need a restaurant where the price on the ladies menu is triple the actual price!

But if that’s not an option, there are better ways to go about dealing with your runny nose than leaving used, snotty tissues for your servers. Would you ever expect a friend to pick up your dirty tissues from the table after a dinner party? Then don’t expect us to.

I’ve long wished for a restaurant with a little trash can at every table.

The biggest thing I’m not okay with here is trashing movies you’ve never seen.

Yeah, more like:

OK EY, then what’s the context? Please give it to us.

THAT’S NOT EVEN HOW PANCAKES WORK!!!

Yes! Why isn’t that the headline?!?!?! Hannah Montana goes Montana on the LGBTQ+ community! That’s a lot bigger news than Zooey dating some HGTV dude.

Lauren Conrad has been a Kohl’s exclusive designer for 10 years. [People]

I think they need the monarchy to keep the Fleet Street presses running.

I’ve never seen them on Alaska either, and we fly Alaska several times per year. It doesn’t really make sense to have them either, because Alaska has movie players they rent for less than $10 AND they offer tons of movies you can stream for free.

In related news, we find out that Turkey’s president Recep Tayyip Erdogan got Trump’s letter and threw it in the garbage.

The fact that Kate isn’t winning in a landslide is obscene.

I think this is one of the ways the patriarchy fucks over men. If they’re raised (directly or indirectly) to believe men (especially those in a hetero relationship) are meant to be the breadwinners and anything else is a failure, I’m sure that fucks you up long term.

A classic case of a guy who was born on Thursday and goes around thinking he ate a turtle.

Mr. President! Your child has been injured!

My hope was for a series of one-on-one debates instead of these 12-person trainwrecks. Like a round robin kind of thing. Draw names out of a hat, Tussi vs. Mayor Pete; Biden vs. Booker; etc. You’d learn a lot more about the candidates then.