He had no thyme for that reporter’s stupid question.

That reminds me: Teen Wolf and Boogie Nights were movies. Please stand by as I write 5,000 words about how your post is similar to them.

Ludacris had sex with his girl in the Georgia Dome on the 50 yard line where the Dirty Birds kick for 3, which is easily more important than anything that has ever happened at Lambeau Field.

This list was, if anything, overexplained.

The reason the NFL sucks now is because a) the rules have changed to favor passing, which makes the quarterback much more important than it used to be, but b) too many of the highly drafted or promising quarterbacks drafted in recent years have either been outright busts (Bortles, Gabbert, Manuel, probably Goff and…

Hinkie screwed up most of his draft picks other than Embiid, which kinda torpedoed his strategy. (Imagine that team with Porzingis at power forward.) But at some point the aforementioned sportswriters will have to admit that tanking will have made the Sixers a lot more competitive than continuing to win 40-45 games a…

Looks like Lil’ Yachty has a new all-time favorite Deadspin article.

Because white people.

“Because eventually, you’re gonna be the guy being dragged off the plane. And that man by the window will not help you. And then the plane will crash.”

Since the NFL MVP is basically the Heisman at this point you’re probably right. But if the point is still to reward the best player in the league, it wouldn’t make a lot of sense to give the MVP to the 4th best player on his own offense.

Trust the Process(ing of remotely hosted 720p video)

Hate this day.

Much better (i.e. kicker-free) dramatic NFL tiebreaker idea: soccer penalty kick style Hail Marys. Each team alternates throwing Hail Marys from the 50 until someone completes one. And if they want to do the whole “complete it short and throw a million laterals hoping to get to the end zone” thing they can do that…

Is Dante Hall not little enough for this list or something? That guy was amazing.

Winter Storm Richard

His pee was So Far Gone down the drain by the time he told the AD, but even though he was nice enough to Take Care to clean the bathtub, Nothing Was The Same after he let her know his horrible secret.

Except for Uncle Rouglas.

On the bright side for Melo, if recent history is any indication, as a rich guy in New York who has a problem with the Brothers, he should get elected President soon.

Robots need a place to store grain too.

“there still hasn’t been a class of English stars to replace the nearly-gone generation of Lampard, Gerrard, Ferdinand, Terry, and Rooney.”