I can't do tampons for more than a couple of hours, because of a surgery I had a while back the widen my urethra that wound up with the fun side effect of making any prolonged stretching in that area ultra uncomfortable. I also seem to be really sensitive to perfumes. (Why are tampons perfumed? Noses do not go inside…

It's Rumpelstiltskin from Shrek!!

Same here, and I have hated it the whole time. This and the woman who went to jail for firing a warning shot. Ultimate one-upmanship: My dead child flag is better than your dead child flag. (Instead of the appropriate response: Holy shit, dead children, I am going to hug the fuck out of everyone I see for a week..)

That Lana Marks bag is not a bag, it is a fancy wallet, or perhaps the Lana Marks Baguette.

Can we arrange a barter, then? We will keep that one, but send you one that will Trump it?

I sometimes wonder if small children dream of going to the bathroom when they go in the bed. No clear answer, though, and it makes me sad for them.

Lexapro throws out some lucid dreams, but on other nights prevents dreaming altogether. I will say that suffering from postpartum depression and being prescribed a medicine that can make you fully believe your child died in the middle of the night is not exactly the best mode of treatment. The side effects eventually…

I've had that dream. The other server problem: Being woken up by your phone ringing and answering as you would at the restaurant.
Servers are constantly interacting with people, so there is no way to just leave work and be done. Interacting is your job- you always bring your work home with you. That shit wears into…

Why did you do this to me? Nothing will be accomplished this day.

Right? Where do we submit our invoices???
I wanna get paid for shittalking Microsoft. While I am at it, I am billing Apple, too.

This is exactly what I thought.

Agrred- y'all would lose pretty much any international tourism to see royal anything if there were no royals. We are all holding for news on a royal infant with a decent vintage and glasses at the ready, because Americans really love royals. (We can't make up our minds about not being British anymore. I know, it's…

Baby today! There will be a new impeccably dressed royal by nightfall!

People would flip... but I would want to be watching the camera stuck on Camilla's face all day long during the ceremony. SCHADENFREUDE, FUCK YOU LADY, THATS WHAT STAIRS ARE FOR!

Let us all hope it was just legalities, because I do believe the next big throne-vacating is Britain, and that might be a long while.
FWIW, I am counting on an upset abdication of Charles and direct transfer from the Queen of England to Prince William. That would rock my socks for all my life.

He wore ermine. No one could have taken that day away from him.
Queen Mathilde is pretty, but this was such a yawn of an outfit. You're becoming Queen, and wearing a mother-of-the-bride dress? This will not do.

You build up a tolerance to it, but there is definitely a cap to what you can survive, no matter the tolerance. 107 inside of a bakery, with humidity, was well above long-term human survival conditions, so even though I am used to heat and humidity, I went and sat in my car because I literally could not drive because…

I am confused, as the tone of your reply indicated that we are disagreeing, but the content implies that we agree?

Now-grown babies, maybe, but Rabies is nothing to fuck with. I love animals, but I will kill it faster than the Rabies if it is infected.

Yeah. I gave up on the comments for this one, since everyone is a heat-immune demigod.
As many welders as there are on the comments today, I am beginning to suspect that Jezebel is just a front for secret unionization in poorly-run states.