Mario - I mean, a plumber roommate would be priceless.

I took my daughter to get a shot and she got herself all worked up. I told her that the normal shots they give kids hurt, but that I knew the nurse and she had agreed to give her a “special non-hurty” shot that was only for special kids. I explained what we wanted as the nurse was prepping (with a clear wink to the…

There’d better be sex on a giant stuffed unicorn.

But it just looks like a guy with bad skin and chin balls.

TIL

TIL

That was because Samus rhymes with anus

That was because Samus rhymes with anus

That was because Seamus rhymes with anus

That was because Seamus rhymes with anus

Marketing 101: Don’t name you product something that rhymes with “hemmeroid”

Marketing 101: Don’t name you product something that rhymes with “hemmeroid”

Fair enough.

When I saw the trailer I thought it looked good and creepy. Reminded me of Lovecraft Country by Matt Ruff. When I saw it was directed by Jordan Peele I got really excited. Loved Key and Peele. It is really exciting that his talents lie in multiple areas and he is breaking into the directing world.

*Ahem. 335 units of happy

Perfect score, 5/7.

“I’m not saying that he should have slammed them through the chest with 22 inch crossbow bolts, but I understand.”

Don’t be sad. It’s a gift!

CALIFORNIA!

Is this subtitled or translated?

I remember an episode of Home Improvement when Tim the Toolman Taylor went to [some formal event] and only brought a ultra-portable suit that was stuffed into a little pouch. He did not remember to take it out of the pouch until the morning of [the formal event] and it was super wrinkled and looked ridiculous. I do…

At the very least, the gods of good taste should never forgive him for his ridiculous hats.

This just in: Trump campaign and Mike Pence sue Univision for asserting that Pence does not enjoy KFC on the plane...

Please tell me I am not going to have to watch a bunch of assholes walk around with wings on their sneakers now. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu