True, unless it involves a striker in the box dribbling towards the endline with nowhere else to go and in no danger of scoring — in that case Bornstein is amazingly adept at making contact with the enemy, just not with the intended target (much like the Bay of Pigs).

[hug]

@MavsRick No. U do not sound like a dork

Liberated from the shackles of the Parti Québécois, the four former members immediately introduced legislation mandating that menus in the Parliament Building's lunchroom must inform customers that all poutine would now be made with freedom fries.

I never had the funny to bring (so take this with a grain of salt), but I'm a big proponent of sipping on a couple beers to lubricate my creative muscles. Besides, when that doesn't work then sipping on a couple more relieves my pain/shame.

Bigger National Embarrassment DUAN!

You gotta give Beck credit for landing on his feet after getting dumped by FOX. Are you taking notes Brian Austin Green?

AP isn't stupid enough to pretend that there's a guiltless team out there.

Perhaps a hymenoplasty is in order.

What's even weirder is how cool the Sedin twins are about Roberto Luongo fucking them both for the past five playoffs.

Unofficial Deadspin tribute to the "Karen's from"...

There goes Samson again, getting hoisted by his own LeBatard.

I must say I have not tried the garlic bread, nor have I been suckered into the whole "cookies and pizza" thing. Fuck that. I'll walk one aisle over and buy some godamn Chips Ahoy thereby saving myself any additional effort, thank you very much.

One Ambien (or possibly more, in your case) would whisk away all your troubles... and any memory of the flight. Bacardi and cola — do it, do it.

I hate myself for saying this, but if I gotta go with a frozen pizza then I am definitely gonna go with DiGiorno. I want to skullfuck my own eyes and ears with my ex-girlfriend's rusty silver bullet every time I see one of those commercials, but godamit if that crust doesn't rise up all golden brown and deliciously…

Based on His reputation alone, Through My Eyes will be nothing if not ridiculously titillating.

Earlier this week, Ramble Johnson, a "beta male" who also competes in amateur speed chess tournaments every other weekend, walked home from his job at the local Enterprise Rent-A-Car and spent the evening masturbating to the thought of sticking his face into the cleavage of a female.

Its funny how spot-on this artist's rendition is to Young Montana's mugshot, wherein he was undoubtedly shit-faced.