@Tom Gugliotta's Delicious Frittatas: Beat me to it.

@WipeMyPujols: I gotta politely disagree. Chip Caray's was a mistake — albeit an egregious one, and one of many — whereas Musburger's was oh so much worse... Frito Lays' VP of corporate communications undoubtedly concocted that horrible excuse for a "drama-building" "sentence" sometime in October and has been lobbying…

@Gary Oakland Athletics: Nice

Newton ain't right.

@Gary Oakland Athletics: Yesterday.

But the key phrase is "once your team's out of it."

Responding to the news that Brett Favre's punishment for an ill-advised dome shot is a $50K fine, James Harrison would like to make an announcement: "Mine's bigger."

Major fail there by ®®, but not nearly as bad as Eric and Lyle's failed Shot-A-Pop endeavor.

Or when he lands on GO TO JAIL and gets all smug about staying there for three turns? "I'm just gonna relax." God, what a dick.

@PaulWasPierced: @wyomingcowboyup: @Forte_Oz._To_Freedom: (Responses in their respective order:)

God. Fucking. Damnit. It is official: The Destiny of the Mother Church is clearly on the side of the Bears this season. As a Packer fan living in Chicagoland this has been the most frustrating season on record (and if not for Favrah's personal and professional implosion it would have been the most painful as well.)

Pissed when somebody subtly pisses on you... Incensed (in comic sans) when somebody publicly shits on your face... Make up your mind about how the rest of the country should demonstrate our distaste for you, Ohio!

@Tulos_Mullet: ie, Horned Frogs beware

@Tulos_Mullet: Depending upon where you come down on the age-old question of quantity vs. quality, James N. Bailey may deserve some consideration.

Both these contestants were warriors. They did great things for The Price is Right. To the kid who was there earlier today who was crying when I came off the set after I spun the wheel and got $1: you've waited 18 minutes. I hope you have a big smile on your face. Congratulations [Drew Carey: I can tell, you're…

In Fran's spare time he writes speeches for Sarah Palin.

"Oh man! IT'S THE ABS! HANG ON, BITCHES! THIS COULD GET WILD!"

Manny Pacquiao will fight a washed-up Shane Mosley

@Red Ned: If somebody ever witnesses me getting drunk in Whitewater a scond time please shoot me. In the brainbox. (No offense to those who matriculated.)

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: [eyes closed, head slowly rotating from side to side, slow clap]