In other words it's just like every American sports celebration minus the alcohol, violence and Christianity.

Not nearly as excited about whiskey in a box: Sean Preston Federline (c. gestation)

@Canayan: Here here.

Its at least nice to see Wade putting his new-found free time to educational use rather than bitching about Romo's clavicle and Choice's butterfingers.

@FIFA-Thespian-Federation: aka "The Man"

Its nice to see Lawrence Taylor trying to beat somebody other than himself.

@FIFA-Thespian-Federation: He may be hit and miss, but I've personally noticed a hell of a lot more missing. Second straight scoreline that will look significantly better than it should... ah well, could be worse.

@MasturGator: Add an SEC fan who can spell to that list.

I want to like Nick Toon, I really do. I have tried, God how I've tried. I just can't. He's not good.

What's the big deal? It's not gay if it's your dog.

@Lionel Osbourne: Nobody puts Boogie Bear in a corner!

Its hard to give Don Balon much credit for lists dominated by well-known players, many of whom have already landed huge contracts with top European clubs. By including players born in 1989, this is not so much predicting the future as it is compiling a list of the present. Chelsea just paid £10,000 for an 11-year…

Holy fuck holy fuck this is terrifying

@Lionel Osbourne: Bigsby... Clayton Bigsby.

The games, his job, the endorsements, the women, free chicken and waffles — sure, those losses hurt. But for JaMarcus, the most painful loss was stepping on the scale and no longer being able to blame expectations for some of those 297 lbs.

@RichardDrungle: Very nice.

Thankfully, technology offers recourse that doesn't involve throwing something heavy at the TV: