Whatever happened to the old maxim "take a look in a mirror on your way out the door and remove one accessory?" I count...5-6 bracelets, a ring, a lapel pin, a pair of earrings, two necklaces, those fucking glasses, and about 80' of pearl strand. To say nothing of that ridiculous crushed velvet blazer.

@pastanaut: My mom did not have a Dalkon Shield, but our neighbor did and it almost killed her. She was pretty freaked out when I told her I was considering an IUD, but I e-mailed her literature on modern IUDs and it calmed her down a little.

@clockwise - counter: Next you're going to tell me that Soylent Green is people? I can't deal if that's the case.

I just had my Mirena IUD removed on Tuesday after 5 trouble-free, period-free, blissful years. I loved it. Jenna's account of the insertion matches mine almost exactly. It definitely hurt, and I was crampy for the rest of the day, and every time I got gas or had a stomachache I was all "OMG IT'S COMING OUT OF…

@Thatiswhyyoufail: I wore my hair short all through high school and caught hell for it the entire time. I guess that means the knuckledragging rednecks I called "classmates" just had developmental delays.

On 12/26, I got a UTI that landed me in the ER. (It got me out of a prolonged visit with my in-laws, too.) It came on so fast and was so painful! I started out at a walk-in clinic (to get the *&!@*$& scrip for antibiotics) but by the time I got home I was peeing blood. That and the epic pain sent me to the ER.

@gunchkin: It makes me really mad at myself when I don't see things like that until they are pointed out to me. :( Good catch.

@NellMood: I found it on Amazon for less than fifty cents. I'm so, so tempted.

@whats_in_a_name: Oof. We used to have two of those in my workplace. A guy and a girl, both rarely bathed or did laundry. When someone complained to HR, he started bathing in Axe and she seemed to be partial to its girlie floral equivalent.

You know what Jon needs? Meggings. #inf

@TheFormerJuneBronson: I'm with you. I woke up one morning and said "you know what? I don't make my living with my looks. Maybe if I did, this or that imperfection would matter. But I have a body that works and I have a job that doesn't depend on whether or not I have a pimple or a bit of a belly. So fuck it." I am…

@Ailatan: If you want to pick nits, it's "Kohl's," which is kind of like a JCPenny's that wants to be hip but fails miserably. I think they're based out of Minnesota, which as we all know is a hotbed of "punk rawk."

@curiousgeorgiana: Oh god no. I was starting to get teary when it was clear the baby wasn't breathing, but I freaking LOST IT when she cried out and really began to get frantic.

I hold a professional certification in computer forensics. When we were doing practicals for the exam, naturally we couldn't use real pornographic (legal or illegal) images. They substituted dog images for adult porn and...wait for it...cat images for child porn.

YAY! Javelin! That was my event in track & field in HS.

@MuleCat: I should have represented in the throwers thread. Did anyone else's school/league have a 4x100 "weightman's relay?" I realized, too late, that it was a "laugh at the fat kids running" type relay at some schools. Because, as we know, all throwers are fat kids and fat = HILARIOUS.

@for_the_love: I threw javelin in high school. I was never particularly amazing, but I did manage to letter twice! I miss it, but there aren't too many places I can safely throw a big spear around these days.

@Dallifornia: Excuse me, but I believe the word you're looking for is "front butt."

@brendahamLincoln: Brownback and Roberts. I've written them. Now I'm off to rage impotently. Le sigh.

She's totally dropping her back shoulder. She'd have popped that up anyway. :)