If you see the word “Dick” in a headline with my byline, I can guarantee that what you will see is a quality dick post. I may be unsure of many things, but my ability to bring you the peen-related content you crave is not one of them.

My great uncle was a llama rancher for most of his life; never married, just ALL LLAMAS, ALL THE TIME.

After being dead for 18 years, my father in law still has a stalker.

I remember trying to make certain everyone knew I was OK with sex workers (since obviously it appeared they were OK with the concept) but that I just wasn’t one, just like I’m OK with dentists but I’m not one (I’m pretty sure I actually used that exact analogy), and that I didn’t have sex for money. Because that…

I basically babbled. Something along the lines of, “I’m so glad he has such an open minded and loving family, but I’m not a sex worker and I really only know him from the amazing stories my new coworkers tell me. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I’m sure I would’ve loved him but maybe not that way but maybe that way…

finally, the style for me, a short person who constantly steps on the back of the cuff of my pants making them frayed naturally.

I don’t understand the attitude in this article, so from now on anything at all to do with black people can only be written about by a black person? Does this go for other minorities too? So from now on as a muslim myself only muslims are allowed to speak about Islam and nobody else should get hennah tattoos or wear…

but I do wish that a black woman had the chance to cover this subject because she might have offered something a bit deeper than: Oh shit, this looks cool!

And remember, it’s important to respect others’ backgrounds without erring on the side of cultural appropriation — if your heritage is not African, it’s possible to learn from and appreciate these culturally significant makeup looks without donning them yourself.

Borderlands Cosplay GO GO GO

Except when it makes your nails fall off.

YES! And it is amazing!!!

““Coco Chanel stated that ‘I do not care what they think about me. I do not think of them at all.’ I believe that my perspective is that I do not have time to think about the hateful posters.”

Congrats to Jalopnik’s female readers as you are now the only ladies to have ever seen this!

The comment about “breaking the restaurant” makes me think they did it on purpose to cause trouble, not because they actually had people waiting for those burgers.

My mom and my aunt set me up with a dude they worked with while I was home for Christmas. I lived in Georgia, most of my family lived in Northern Maryland. I was maybe 22? This dude was 28 and an accountant at the company where my mom and aunt worked. He was new to the area and it was kind of like when you’re 6 and…

To preface this: the following story takes place in Florida.

My birthday is April Fool’s Day.