Not disagreeing with your larger point about the refs, but Chicago called an immediate timeout, which was the quick whistle you hear first. There’s a couple whistles a couple seconds later that indicate the T.

Dang that’s not bad

Pretty sure playing for the Wizards already counts for time in a supermax

I tried to do a Dragon Bender on a prostitute last week but she was NOT having it

pretty sure you’re thinking of Fred VanVleet.

Man, get rid of that TV Plus:

Man, get rid of that TV Plus:

It was totally ad-libbed too. The original script had him shouting “San Dimas High football RULES!”

That is the reason why Michelle Pfeiffer stayed in the Quantum Realm in the Ant-Man movies. THIS IS CANON.

No, the Bulls season just feels like an SNL sketch: amusing concept, but drags on way too long and you’ve already been wanting it to be over by the time it’s halfway through.

That’s true. See “Lacrosse team, Duke”

I’m Arthur Morgan, and this is my favorite store on the Citadel

The only thing worse than getting stabbed to death is getting stabbed to death twice because you didn’t bleed right.

I was in the audience of a lecture when the speaker asked how many people sneeze when they look at the sun. A good number of hands went up (including my own) and the rest of the audience looked around with puzzled looks on their faces. 

You know those videos on the internet that are designed to infuriate you? 

I want to grind this kinja up into a fine powder and inject it straight into my veins until I disappear into the floor

With 1:37 left in the fourth quarter, the Hilltoppers took a 34-27 lead on Gino Appleberry Jr.’s two-yard touchdown, but the Monarchs would not go quietly.

The answer to that question is the second word of the article’s headline

As it turned out, the defense had stopped playing about 8 minutes prior to this play.

“HEAR IT FROM BROWNS FANS!”