imagine declaring that you’re going to buy a gun so you can kill people in the name of... not the USA, but fucking Donald Trump

...suffered a crippling mechanical issue as he rolled his rear tire.

I live in the DMV and so I cross lines with enough regularity

Came for the goddamn Queens of the Stone Age song.

“You ain’t made flowers on me in maybe three weeks... Makes me sad is all.”

The photo makes it look like he’s telling Luke Skywalker that he must face Darth Vader again

also automatic weapons

right time of day, the 7-11 down the street is 20-30 minutes away

Spiritually, the Eagles are always 20+ games back

except MVP voting is done right at the end of the season, not after the playoffs

Timothe Luwawu-Cabarrot and Furkan Korkmaz

The nostalgia in the building was thick enough to cut with DeMarcus Cousins

(One member of the Offspring facebook group mentioned that they like to make the kids wait half an hour for poop related reasons—change that diaper before they go back in. But I’d say the rule is outdated by the time your kids are old enough to wipe their own butts.)

Is this blog over?

Pictured: Jon Favreau doing a Robert DeNiro impression

yes and Jesus was up 3-1 on the cleveland legion at the time

You may or may not know this already, but Cleric Beast is 100% optional. He’s a dead end. But he was the first boss I beat in that game and that gave me the confidence to know I could proceed, so I’m not saying you should skip it.

hiding a deep-seated childhood trauma, in which his parents told him “no” that one time.

Deadspin has to choose to either root for the Vile Cardinals, or for their dastardly rivals, the Sinclair Media Presents “Muslims are naturally my (our) enemy” Ricketts’ World Champion Chicago Cubs.

Godspeed You! Bleak Future