I love this so much.

Only in terms of Shark Week.

I'm glad this particular geologist is the one who's giving me the news, because I've got a bad case of loving him. No pill is going to cure my ill.

YOU ARE HAVING A BAD PROBLEM AND YOU WILL NOT GO TO SPACE TODAY.

"You're in the desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down and you see a tortoise, Leon. It's crawling towards you. You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back, Leon. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over,…

Of course, this was back when people were still confused about why we'd want to pretend our photos were taken with shitty cameras.

Wow, "Life of Pi" doesn't look nearly as impressive on the small screen.

Probably Milwaukee and Sacramento.

You're right. I'm sure "Lisa Goldberg, an adjunct professor in the Department of Statistics at University of California, Berkeley", has no idea how probability theory works.

I bet he's actually super into Sisqo, too.

"Wall of Darkness", and you summed it up pretty succinctly.

Mike Brown is off the books after this season (3 year contract; this season would have been his third). I believe D'Antoni is off the books after this season as well (he also has a 3 year contract but the last year is a team option).

The "self-respect" part is what really hits home. :(

...meh, made a mistake.

"This will never happen...but I very badly want it to, if just for the occasional offensive lineman touchdown."

He's not attacking the schools, he's attacking the NCAA. And that's something we can all get behind.