Welcome back, Fahey. I’m absolutely certain my usual bloviations wouldn’t do what I want to say justice, so I’ll just say this:

You’ve been missed, sincerely, the entire time you’ve been away, and this community did not feel whole without you. You’re a goddamned boss for clawing your way back from what you suffered,…

What? They only took the kids? Did the goats cross the border illegally from Oregon?

My fave? When there was a category called “Yas Queen.” It tickled me to hear Alex say it (in this case over and over again):

I would like to personally apologize for forgetting the rule that you’re only allowed to like one action movie in your lifetime.

I think you’re sorta misunderstanding how Rotten Tomatoes works. That 97-percent isn’t a gauge of how much every critic liked it, like everybody who reviewed it said it’s 97-percent perfect. It’s just the percentage of tracked reviewers whose reviews were positive enough to qualify as recommendations. So even if, say,…

Reminds me of me at that age!

I swear to god, this is probably the whitest GIF I’ve ever laid eyes upon.

Obligatory. (Why is the original an mp4?...i swear...)

Please tell me you’re joking.

Well they weren't gonna go to Detroit!

Nah, that would undermine their efforts to disenfranchise people of color with voter ID laws.

Hmm, this year’s crop of white tears is exceptional.

It’s, uh, rubbing off...

“I truly hope you realize how important setting goals are for young women, teaching them we have so much more to offer than just our bodies,” Moretz wrote.”

Of course we know who Kaylie is Kim!

There’s a video of Wilfork playing, and winning a game of pickup basketball with a group of guys nearly half his age. The big guy even dunked. NFL linemen may look fat, but those dudes were definitely in excellent physical condition. 

Jesus Christ the world is going to fucking end.  The Hoodie was smiling... and it actually looked like a real honest to goodness smile.  You know the type that normal, non-demons, have when they find something enjoyable or funny.  Fuck, I’m not ready for this.

Also, Vince Wilfork was a really good athlete.