I wonder how they decide what to write about. Is this somehow based on questions people have googled, only to have them go unanswered? Maybe we get the WikiHows that we deserve.

Is there anything more perfect on this earth than the fact that the wealthy white woman who has styled herself as the spirit of profound spiritual and cultural immersion lives in fucking New Jersey?

Meanwhile, his brother California Safari sits unused in the stable.

This holds true even when you take into account that Subway has more locations than either of those brands.

a well-regarded photographer with a secret life.

Reminds me a supervisor who gave the staff a list of acceptable activities to improve morale. She was ... uncomfortable with any jokes, etc. not on the approved list. I guess we were expected to tell the same jokes over and over again and just laugh, and laugh and laugh. "The beatings will continue until morale…

oh my fucking god, Burt. Jesus Christ. This... I can't. Let me give you a list of other things that have made me cry in the past few days...

I have always felt that the problem with eulogies is that the dead have no opportunity for rebuttal.

I was a friend's funeral last year, and the Minister kept on going on and on and on about how wonderful Heaven is, and how my friend is now in a better place. He forgot to mention "don't kill yourself, or you won't get in." So we all joked afterwards about how we should just commit mass suicide and party in Heaven…

I have a few observations of Barbara Winfrey - she was an assistant principal at my high school.

OMG, Huck and Quinn. GET OUTTA MY BRAIN, IMAGE. VOM.

A good friend of mine is an alcoholic and has started drinking again after a stint of sobriety. None of her idiot friends (other than me apparently) or family think it's important to not drink around her. They think there's no harm in drinking in front of her or that she'll have "a glass of wine or two" with dinner.…

Be quiet, you. Don't ruin this for the evil bitch inside of me.

Was hoping for a twist ending.

I loved when my baby girl started cuddling back. My heart explodes every time she rests her head on my shoulder and pats my arm. She's thrown whispering "I luff you, mama" into the mix within the last month or so. DYING. DYING.

There is no aspect of the story that is not heartbreaking: this woman epitomizes how difficult it is to claw your way out of crippling poverty and the many "damned if you do, damned if you don't" choices one has to make in doing so. Her children were in real danger. Very real, very serious danger, and that should not…

I'm an adult and I drink milk with everything. Everything. It is the nectar of the gods, as far as I am concerned.

Fucking seriously. I am calling Champagne vs Caffeine with Caffeine being the winner. Gah.

We sure did manage to get to the boringest final four possible, didn't we?

You know that writing here is not something I do in my "free time," right?