I bet you they sell the tops and bottoms separately, so you can choose 2 different sizes. That's how most companies sell swimwear now. J.Crew does, and makes really great swimwear, but they're a bit expensive.

Where's the one with girls with no boobs, big bellies and butts?

Why do you assume small breasted women have complexes? You write like you've been some sort of victim, yet you trade in a nasty stereotype yourself. Passive aggressive joking is not funny or enlightening.

I decided to put on a bikini for the first time since I was 11 years old (does that even count?) when I traveled to Ghana a few weeks ago. I too said screw the fat shaming and decided I'd love myself to be sexy in my skin, even at a size 16. Screw what people think/say/fart we're fabulous!

And if you need me, I will be by the pool in my American flag speedo drinking Bud Light and eating croissants all day. (Because that is a real thing I do.)

Based on my experience being naked in various places— I mean I did go to Hampshire College, people look better with fewer clothes but we are so conditioned to hate our bodies, that we think we should always hide what we look like.

Hi dear. I'm nigerian.

That's not his style.

My father is a 6'6" 61-year-old woodworker and a self-proclaimed feminist. It IS possible, Pharrell.

Jesus H, this even touched my shriveled, cynical heart.

Lindy, it's really really scary how many grown ass adults ask me questions about my time in Hollywood and reveal that they believe every damn thing they see. They KNOW it's a scripted drama, but still think that things that happen are real. Like relationships with characters! They can't believe that actors know how to…

I used to share a dressing room with her at the drag bar Lucky Cheng's (I hosted a burlesque show/bio-queen), she's an amazing creature. I hope the world is ready t hear what she has to say. Her twin brother is also lovely.

GAWKER MEDIA, LET ME BE YOUR CHAMPION.

If Gawker wants to sponsor me I will complete this challenge so you can rub it in Buzzfeed's faces.